the birthday party

Today is Joslyn's 2nd birthday party! And instead of going all out on a party with a theme this year I have decided to let My Big Life Change affect my decisions. Last year as planned for Joslyn's big one year party, I got affected by the bug. You know the have to have a perfect party and impress my friends bug. I was bombarded with little hints that her first birthday had to be "special". My hubby insisted that she wouldn't remember it, but I had to have a good first birthday for her. It had to be memorable! 

 

What a load of crock! Excuse me if I am blunt, but where in the world was my brain? Is this what God had planned for me? No way! I got sidetracked as usual and my worldly side got the better of me. Please don't get me wrong, I am not condemning fancy birthday party's by any means! But I am talking about getting so lost in the idea of a perfect birthday party that stress and worry and the thought of by any means necessarily, must this party come off. When bows and tutu's have to be the perfect color and decorations must be all just so, and the amount spent on a party has to be as much or more than last year or more than Johnny what's his names party, then we need to stop and reevaluate. 

Who are we throwing this party for?

-    Is it the child that is going to benefit mostly from this party? Is the stress from the party planning affecting your relationship with your child on their Big Day? Would you be more upset if your friends never came to the party then your child would? Are you willing to do almost anything to make sure that your child has a memorable occasion? These are all questions I have to ask myself. Because I am a codependent, I am easily brought back into people pleasing mode, I have to work hard to keep myself out of that mode, especially on big occasions. 

What are We teaching our children?

- When I would fill in at my friends store it would always amaze me the things people would do for their children. Big huge ordeals would be made if the tutu was 2 colors off of her daughter's perfectly pink party. If the bow wasn't just so, or the gift was just right, the parents would throw a perfect little tantrum till they got what they wanted. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the kid. Four or five years later this kid is going to do the same thing to it's parents and they are going to be scratching their heads trying to figure out why their kids are so bratty? I am by no means a good parent, I have made more mistakes then I ever dreamed I would do. But I do know that if I keep my eye focused on Jesus, it is easier to see the world in a different light. What if we focused on the child instead of the party? What if we taught by example instead of expecting our children to pick up good habits from somewhere else? What if we taught our kids the value of giving instead of receiving?  What if we made little changes in our lives that would affect the world, one little step at a time?

What if I stopped caring what other people thought about what I do for my child? This year is going to be a little bit different. This year I am going to not worry about who comes to her party. I am going to let her have fun. I am going to teach her that her value is not in what gifts she gets, what clothes she wears, who her friends are. I am going to teach her the God values her, that we value her, the way she is! The way that Celebrate Recovery has taught me to value myself. Happy Birthday to the single most valuable person in my life! My daughter Joslyn! My precious child!