My Big Life Change!

Picture taken by Abby Austin of 1000 Miles on my own two feet.


To transform my life, with God's help of course, one step at a time.

1. Get healthy & honor God with my body

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

2.Become at least 50% sustainable with emphasis on doing our part to take care of God's planet.

3. Live life as an adventure, experiencing new places, things & people.
18 out of 150 bucket list goals accomplished

4. Become debt free & build security for my family, so we can then bless others financially also.

5. Continue to grow closer to God, building My family's faith & sharing the Gospel with those we meet, by using the talents and gifts God has provided us.

6.Continue to make money by creating and sharing my thoughts and beliefs through artistic expression: all the while hoping that my art will impact others. "Holly Kennedy

: All I know is, if you don't figure out this something, you'll just stay ordinary, and it doesn't matter if it's a work of art, or a taco, or a pair of socks! Just create something... new, and there it is, and it's you, out in the world, outside of you, and you can look at it, or hear it, or read it, or feel it... and you know a little more about... you. A little bit more than anyone else does... Does that make any sense at all?" Quote from PS I LOVE YOU

Thursday, January 5, 2012

When the pain gets to be too much

I have been filled with sadness for some of my friends that are experiencing hardships right now. Marriages breaking, death, sickness and more. As a codependent, it is easy for me to feel the pain of others. I have always had compassion for those who are hurting. I have less compassion though for those who hurt. But in Celebrate Recovery, I have learned that hurt people hurt people. As human beings we all bring our hurts and habits and hangups into our relationships. And it is really naive to think that the past doesn't still have an effect on our today.
But when I walked into Celebrate Recovery for the first time I had no clue.  I was living in major denial of my previous hurts, I had no clue that I couldn't fully commit to a relationship because of the abandonment I felt in my heart. I didn't know that I substituted serving to get the acceptance and love I was craving. I really thought that it was normal to be two different people, the one I let others see and the one that only God knew about. But living life like that was exhausting. I never understood why I was always too tired to do what I needed to do for me, because I was busy holding the world up. My friends, my family, my coworkers. I thought that I had to be there for them 24-7 and that if I couldn't be who they needed me to be that I wasn't serving the Lord. People pleasing is a dangerous and exhausting game. It never gets you the results you want and it isn't actually helping those you think. Enabling and people pleasing go hand in hand. Sometimes the Lord wants us to stand up and say no. And when we do that we can really see what He is asking us to do. Who He wants us to help and how we are to serve Him without exhausting ourselves. Without being 2 people and without feeling void of what we need. Serving the Lord isn't always easy, in fact doing the right thing is usually the harder thing to do. Sometimes it means that we have to step over that crevice of pride that keeps us from truly gaining His blessing. Fear is a big obstacle that keeps us from doing what God wants. Fear of rejection, fear of embarrassment, fear of failure. The pain has to be greater than our fear. Sometimes God lets us go through these painful moments to bring us back to Him. Yes Almighty could keep your marriage together, but because of His love for us He lets us make our own bad decisions. And as far as death, I don't have the magic answer of why God lets people die. But I know that this life is temporary for everyone and is only a precursor to the afterlife. We should value the time we have on Earth with our loved ones. And for a believer, death is just the beginning of a wonderful eternity. If I could offer any comfort is this time to others, it would be to stop running from God. Stop trying to hold up that heavy burden. Run to the One who can help. Run to Jesus who never lets you down. Run to the Father that does not abandon. Give the weight to the Lord. He will lift you up. He has for me, I pray for you it will be also!


  1. hello newest follower from the hop look forward to reading your posts

  2. This word is packed with so much "meat"! So many of us women can relate to people pleasing, enabling, co-dependence. It is a sad addiction that leads to exhausting results! Thanks for shining the light on the truth...that Jesus is the only way to make us truly feel complete!
    Thanks also for your linking with UNITE! It was so good to see you face there! Hope to see you again, my friend. And many prayers for the beautiful heart you have for those around you!

    1. thanks dear friend! I have missed posting! I feel the same way about all of your posts. Packed with nutrition!