Walking on Eggshells!

My eggshell party was fun. Some how God always gives me what I need, not more or less, but the right amount. I am always amazed when not many people show up to my adventure parties. In my head it is going to be a huge blow out party and everyone is having so much fun that they never wanna go home. Well, my old self(pre-Celebrate Recovery days), would have been disappointed. But I am so truely happy! If everything turned out how I wanted it to it would be a disaster. I mean who really enjoys having hundreds of people around? I am a crowd-a-phobic! If people stayed too long, I would pass out from exhaustion. Because true me, spends the day before an adventure or party cleaning like mad and tring to get everything ready. And I am plum worn out afterwards. The cleaning started yesterday morning and ended about 9:30 last night. I made a 10:00 run to Walmart and got my last supplies and groceries. Made coffee cake last night so it could be ready for breakfast. My husband had to work today so I wanted him to get some of the breakfast treats.

Today I got up when my Joslyn alarm woke me up around 6:30. We went back to bed (like normal) and played, trying to wake daddy up but he was snoozing pretty hard. So after about 20 minutes, we got up and let the dogs out. I set out to making the rest of my dishes. Quiche Lorraine, is a pretty way of saying eggs with bacon, swiss cheese and onions. YUM! Spinich Quiche was next, made with ricotta and Parmesan cheeses. Then I made Hashbrown Casserole, which is a staple at our house. We had cantalope and honeydew, always good to have a little fresh fruit at a brunch. Lastly, I made a ham egg and cheese pizza. I didn't think the pizza turned out very good.
While I was cooking the bacon, Joslyn had a major blowout diaper which called for a bath. Thank goodness my wonderful other half was around to help with that! After the diaper clean-up and the bath, he feed Joslyn breakfast, so I could concentrate on cooking. I am so lucky to have him and sometimes I take that for granted. Gotta work on that!

So all the food got done and I had barely used a dozen eggs. We had purchased 4 dozen for the eggshells to walk on. And me as a food addict, we will get to that later, couldn't stand the thought of wasting the eggs. So I decided to hard boil the eggs. So my friends pull in just in time. My friend Toni and her daughter Shannon and her two adorable kids Sam and Jimmy came from the city. Becky and Diana came too! So there we were 5 adults and 3 kids. We ate the spread, it was well worth the wait until 11:00 to eat breakfast! After eating we spent sometime talking and peeling hard boiled eggs. Once we had a good amount, we placed a cheap tablecloth on the livingroom floor and set out the broken eggshells in a line.

So here comes the truth! Walking on eggshells in real life is nothing like doing it figuratively. I thought it would be more painful! After all, when I look back at my childhood and see the major damage physically and emotionally that I had from walking on eggshells all the time; it can't compare. I remember sitting at home having to be quiet and feeling like I would rather runaway or die then to feel like this. My home, growing up wasn't always bad, but there were too many moments when I couldn't be myself. I think that kids that grow up in toxic environments will spend most of their lives searching for who they are. Working with youth for awhile, I have noticed a few things. Most people know that teenage years are when kids find their identity. Most teenagers will try on a few different "hats" or identities, searching for who they are. This is why having kids in church and youth programs is so important.

I remember struggling with trying to find myself and if it weren't for my church group and my supportive mom, I would have suceeded in suicide.

I know this is tough stuff, but I wonder how many teens are out there in toxic situations? Look anywhere on the news and you will see the hurting teenagers. Suicides, pregnancies, bullying. These are classic signs of kids who are walking on eggshells everyday and finally they can't do it anymore. SO they run to ....?

I think its the same for adults who live with abusers. Whether it's physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, etc...  Living a nightmare day to day, walking on eggshells. It makes me so sad. God is the only one who can heal those hurts. If you are walking on eggshells everyday, please consider the long term costs. Call me, visit a Celebrate Recovery all over the world, join a support group. God will ease the pain and use your situation to help others, he did with me.

 

One thing I can say for sure is it feels so good to be walking on solid ground again!