Getting Rid of Sickness

Did you know that sickness is a way for your body to stay healthy?
Each sickness your body is exposed to builds up your antibodies to prepare you for another illness. In the same way God uses our past trials to prepare us for the next one. That is why it is so beneficial for us to pay attention and use the tools He has given us to get healthy.
As most of you know we have had sickness after sickness in our home. As we come out of the midst of this sickness, I thought that we would share a few tips I have learned to help us get rid of sickness.

We Rest!

Sickness, is an awful strain on your body, spirit and mind! I used to be the type of person that would work through sickness, and pain until I could go no longer. But being a mother has taught me the importance of slowing down and resting. I feel so much better when I put away the distractions and sleep. It is easy to get sick when we work our bodies to the point of exhaustion. Healthy people are those that sleep! Remember God even rested on the 7th day. I don't believe that God needed this rest but I believe that he did it as a lesson to us to follow, rest!

We Take our Medicine.

Most medicine is awful tasting but it is good for us! Our medicine for this last sickness was the nebulizer and albuterol. Let just tell you how much fun it is holding down a strong toddler to do a breathing treatment. But it is neccesary for her to get better, John had to practically hold me down to get me to do my treatments too! No one likes taking medicine, but we all have to take it once and awhile. When temptations and trials in our life cause a sickness of sin in us we have to take our medicine. God has seen the sin in us and therefore provided the medicine we need to get healthy, His Word! He hates to see us struggle with sin, but will allow us to suffer with it until we pick up The Bible and read. If you can't take the whole spoonful of medicine right away, then sip it. Listening to Christian radio stations like AirOne or KLove can be great tools. Reading books by famous Christian authors can help, just remember that the only one who can heal you is Jesus, so if the book isn't leading you to Him, then put it down. I reccomend John Baker (author of Celebrate Recovery), Beth Moore, Andy Stanley are just a few! Check out a local church or Christian bookstore and see what they reccomend.

We call in backup!

No one likes to be sick, but being sick without anyone there to help you feel better is worse. Whether it is a mom to soothe you to sleep, a sister to make or bring you soup, a friend to watch movies with you, we all need help.  God designed us to need companionship! Especially during trials or sin. Jesus himself was surrounded with people he loved and trusted.  Having people pray and hold you accountable during times like these can make or break you. Of course you know that i reccommend Celebrate Recovery, but a good strong church group or bible study group is good too. So make that phone call and ask for help, you'll be glad that you did.

We sanitize!

Anything that is plastic and doesn't have batteries is thrown into the bathtub with bleach water. Everything else is thrown into the laundry, the trash or sprayed down with Lysol! Don't give germs a foothold to stick around! Alike germs, the temptations of sin is contagious! Clean out your house of temptations and arm yourself with protection. If pornography is your sickness, then throw away the magazines, move the computer to a safe spot in the house, and find someone to hold you accountable. Since food addiction is my sickness, I have learned to only go grocery shopping with a list and a chapperone. I also keep busy because sitting around the house is a temptation to eat and I have my CR groups to help me stay accountable to eating and exercising.

We use good habits!

A sickness is a great reminder of why we should eat healthy, exercise and take care of ourselves! Reminding my daughter to wash her hands and keep toys out of her mouth is another way to keep sickness away.  Praying, reading your Bible and meeting with your accountability partners help you keep good habits!

We prepare for sickness!

Staying stocked on medicines like tylenol and cold medicines help us be prepared for something that may hit us fast. Cough drops and allergy pills are a must at our house. Remember that sickness, trials and sin is part of life. If we deny it won't or can't happen to us then we won't be prepared when it does. Sometimes God will knock us off of our feet so He can carry us!

Here's to your health!

Boundaries or chains

Ouch! Is the first thing I said when I looked at our after Christmas shopping finances. Wow, why is it so much fun to spend that we ignore the warnings. The phrase, "Your Cup Runneth Over" is playing over and over in my head right now. Not only did the spending run over, but I can't help but think about how blessed we are. To have the money to buy any presents at all for our family is a blessing. To have a warm place to live is a blessing. I could go on and on. So why isn't it enough? Why are we always wanting more? I don't have an easy answer to the age old questions, but I can tell you what I struggle with and with that how I know God can help.

I am a person with sort of obsessive/compulsive disorder. You wouldn't believe it if you saw my life though. Most people categorize those people to be neat, clean and always on schedule. Well that is what a want in my life. In fact if my life is not like that I give up on all of it. If I can't see order then I don't even try. My brain is always wanting to make lists. Always! I want to organize everything. I can spend an hour or more at a Walmart, organizing the 5 dollar movie bin. I love doing it! But my house is always a mess. Because my brain can't figure out how to keep it clean, so I don't try. If it was only me in this house I would have everything in a perfect spot and it would never get moved. But I have never lived alone. I grew up with 1 brother and 1 sister that would move or disturb my stuff. A mom who didn't clean either and a dad that was extremely organized but was never there. I couldn't find any peace in my life. No plan that fit. No drawer big enough to hold all the messy stuff so that the rest of my life could be peaceful and organized. No one showed me how I was supposed to organize or clean up the messes. I look at a messy room and want to clean the smallest part first so that I have one organized part. The problem with that is that I make the rest of the room messier by organizing that one drawer and never have time to get the whole area clean when I focus on such the small details.
But as I get older I have learned some great things about myself.
1. I do much better if I have a deadline. Although I tend to procrastinate until close to the deadline.
2. If there is a list to follow I can follow it. ( But I do tend to always want to update my lists and make them prettier.)
3. I absolutely do very badly if there are no boundaries. Boundaries are necessarily!

We learn about boundaries often in Celebrate Recovery. Many people need boundaries to function. Life without boundaries for me, always leaves me in chains. If I don't have boundaries with my money I will end up chained to a loan company or owing the bank too much. If I don't have boundaries with my food, I am chained to my addiction. I am constantly struggling for freedom from my addictions and my habits that bind me to a life I don't want. But what I am learning is that if I want freedom I will have to apply boundaries. The idea of limiting myself is scary though. What if I do without? What if I can never get what I want? What if I feel trapped? These seem like silly questions! But these silly questions have kept me from enjoying freedom for so long. They have kept me in a comfortable madness state, too afraid to move because it is scary not knowing what will happen. But I know the truth! God is my creator, He formed me and loves me and wants the best for me. I have to truly trust Him with those feeling of doubt and fear. He will break those chains on my wrist of addiction and habits that I don't want. But I have to trust Him and do what he says. And He is telling me to apply some of those boundaries to the issues I have dealt with for so long. You see even the boundaries will fail me at some point. I will fail me, my house and drawers will always be over flowing with junk, but He can still give me that peace that I seek. The organization my heart seeks. And may this next year be a year of cleaning out the old junk drawers and making room for the good stuff that I have really longed for. Like a healthy lifestyle, that I can spend more of my time enjoying life instead of eating. That I can teach my daughter to love her life too! And I long for organization in my household. That I will have a place for everything and know how to stop clutter before it begins. And with my money, that we will stick to our budget and then have the funds to truly give to God and his people when he asks me too. I could do so much with that money if I applied boundaries.
2012 goals
make and stick to the budget and have our emergency fund accomplished (Financial Peace University)
lose 60 lbs by applying a food plan and working out.
start and maintain Joslyn's preschool schedule
Find a way to organize the house, especially Joslyn's room and my financial paperwork.
Teach Joslyn how to keep her room clean.

These are some of the goals I am setting for myself and I have started making boundary lists( I can't help it) to follow! I hope that you find some peace in 2012 also! What are some of the boundaries you have set or goals you have set for 2012?

Wanting More

"I've got gadgets and gizmo's a plenty. I've got whose-its and whats-its galore. You want thing-a-mabobs? I've got 20! But who cares, no big deal, I want more!" (sung by the Little Mermaid)

It's true! Wanting more is an everyday part of my life. Heck I have a toddler in the house! More is a word I hear very often. More Barney, more Bear in the Big Blue House, more tookies (cookies)! When I think about how much she wants more of, I am reminded of my own wants.

More Food!

I guess it started when I was 11, my dad left and suddenly my wants were increased. I wanted more time with my dad, he was off on one of his absences. I wanted more time with my mom, she was busy working 2 jobs to support us. I wanted more play time, I was now responsible for cooking cleaning and taking care off my brother and sister. So instead of getting what I wanted I settled for food. We were poor, but between food stamps and church assistance, we always had food in the house. Usually junk food, I did most of the shopping. Or what I like to call poor people food. Hot-dogs, mac-n-cheese, hamburger helper, and other processed goodies. So I would eat to calm my nerves and satisfy that craving that wasn't getting fulfilled. I have kept up the poor mans diet, my whole life because it was comforting. It was cheap and it was easy. Now that I am learning about my food addiction, I am wanting to change this habit of wanting more food. I remember panicking if I didn't have money for lunch. Literally crying and breaking down at the thought of missing a meal. I know that is emotional and spiritual damage that has to be repaired.

 The sermon on Sunday was about the crippled man at the well found in John 5: 1-5. Jesus asks the man "Do you want to get well?"
This has always been revealing to me, because when we want to change something enough, we find a way to do it. And if we haven't changed something yet, we probably don't want to really change. This is true for me too! Someone once said, "I am living in hell, but I know the streets here." Changing your life can been scarier then actually living in your pain. We are afraid of the unknown. Anyways, the pastor outlined some ways to help us change.

1. Believe in yourself
 I believe in the Power of God to help me make my change. I believe in the programs God gave me to help me stay on His Godly track, Celebrate Recovery and Overeaters Anonymus. I believe that my accountability partners and sponsors are only doing good when they support me, sometimes saying things that I don't like. I believe in myself, God made me beautiful and wonderful, talented and smart, I can do this!

2. Take the initiative
I will finish my food plan this week and have a menu finished. I will make a detailed shopping list with the healthy items on it. I will make an appointment with a nutritionist in my church and find out ways to amp up my workout and healthy eating plan. I will put it out on Facebook looking for women to workout with me during the days. I will post prayers and Bible verses around the house to keep me motivated.

3. Take Action
I will workout twice a week at least whether or not I have someone to workout with. I will maintain a loose schedule to help me stay on track. I will call someone everyday, for the first 2 weeks of my plan and have them hold me accountable for my daily eating. I will commit to read my Bible or listen to my Audio bible everyday.

4. Stay Humble
I will remember that God is the one making the change in me and that only with His help will I succeed. I will take time to write in my journal and blog about the wonderful things He is doing in my life.


So there is one more thing I wanted to mention about wanting more. I believe that God has given me this feeling for a good reason. I just need to want more of the right stuff. I want more opportunities to share His Love. I want more adventures. I want more blog followers! So I have taken the initiative to invite a dear friend to guest post on my blog. We should have the post up soon so keep checking back because I know you will love her as much as I do!

Changing your playmates and playthings

When I first stepped into CR I heard a saying " You've got to change your playground, playmates and play things". I was confused, what did this mean? As kids we love new playgrounds. New places to explore and new friends to meet. My daughter is at this stage right now, she knows no stranger. She loves new kids to play with and enjoys new places to explore. But often as adults we lean towards the familiar. The same church every week, the same friends to sit by and the same seat. This is not just in church. We go towards goals that we are comfortable with, making decisions with our subconscious sometimes without knowing that this is what our parents did with us. We are designed that way.

But there is true freedom in branching out unto the unknown, as long as our feet are grounded. That is what God does for us, he gave us true freedom with Jesus's death and Resurrection.  He asks us to burden Him with our troubles and He will lift us up. He is the rock we are to stand upon. And because we have His power  in us we have the freedom to walk with faith. We can try new things and do the impossible without fear. God does a lot with our little faith. What would it be like if we woke up one day knowing that we couldn't be harmed. Would you test it? Would you have faith? Or would you stay in the house and huddle with fear? This is the kind of faith that God wants us to have.

This same reasoning should be applied to our hurts hang-ups and habits. We have the power to stay away from that addiction, we have the power to walk away from an abusive relationship. The question is do we walk away, or do we stay in our rotting house or in our fear. Changing playmates playgrounds and playthings are hard. Walking away from the familiar is not easy. That is why when you do this you still need to have your feet grounded. A relationship with the Lord, accountability partners, and sponsors can give you truth in a world full of lies. This is the only way to change your habits, otherwise you will end up back where you started from.

I found this was true when I realized my codependent nature for serving. I was serving in my church because I needed to feel needed, I yearned for that feeling that serving others gave me. I enjoyed serving so much that I did it at every opportunity, disregarding my physical, mental and even spiritual health. So after I finished my 12 step study I thought that I had it nipped in the bud. but didn't consult my accountability partners, sponsor or even God, before I jumped into another serving commitment. When I realized I was not supposed to be doing that job, it was very hard and embarrassing to quit.

I am also learning slowly that I have to do this with my food addiction too. Consulting my sponsor and accountability partners and God, I am slowly able to make changes in my food plan and know that these are the right decisions. I am going to change from eating white rice to eating brown rice and buy whole wheat pasta instead of regular pasta. And I am doing this because the other kinds of carbs I can eat and eat and eat. And abstaining from them is too difficult for me right now. My sponsor also said to cook only one serving at a time so that I am not tempted to eat more and I agree with this statement. I also am going to have to buy some medicine to counteract the effects of certain veggies, if you get my drift.

All kinds of foodie thoughts

So today I went to my second OA meeting and I am very happy there. OA is different then CR because is specifically focused on food. It feels freeing to be in a place where everyone is dealing with what you are dealing with. I will never give up CR but I am loving the accountability I get here. Not to mention all the tips and tricks to change my bad eating habits. I was concerned that God wouldn't be a main focus in OA but he is! This is good! You cannot grow as a person until you accept God into your life. I believe that you will always feel that void in your life that only he can fill. I have been learning about my food addiction in the last few weeks. For example:

My Trigger Foods
Carbs. Rice is a good for you carb, in moderation. But something in my body triggers a reaction when I eat rice that tells my body not to stop. I am finding that this is normal in food addiction. The body will react differently to certain foods and cause a chain reaction from an instant crave for more to a feeling of euphoria or a fogginess in the brain. Sounds like a drug doesn't it? Certain foods for us are like a drug. I have talked with people who think clearer and feel like a completely different person when they abstain from their trigger foods. This may be one food, or many or it might be an ingredient like sugar. Some people react strangely to fake sugars or processed sugars. What does this mean for me? Well I can't abstain from all carbs. But I bet that if I go to lower carb foods and abstain from pasta and rice, which are definite trigger foods I will feel less lethargic and foggy.

My hubby and I were talking about food stereotypes today and I wanted to share a couple of them with you. These are things that we hear people say or say ourselves that have a whole new meaning from a food addicts point of view. For example: the type of food you eat depends on what money class you are in. If you are upper class you usually are expected to eat fancier foods like caviar and fresh seafood. lower class people tend to eat the cheaper foods that will feed many people. Hot-dogs and mac-n-cheese. These are the foods I grew up on. They were cost effective for the 4 people in my family. They kept us full longer. You should eat everything on your plate. As Americans a lot of us feel that we work hard and deserve a full plate of food. Sometimes we feel deprived if we look at an empty plate. Sometimes we feel like we are splurging on certain foods and don't get to eat it often, so we should over indulge. This is what places like buffets count on. For a food addict, eating with our eyes is how we get into trouble. We see small portions or foods that we know we shouldn't have or can't afford and we think that we can indulge just this once and not get into trouble. That is completely not true. A little bit of sugar can't hurt anyone. That is a lie. I have heard that it was normal for our parents generation to have kyro syrup in there bottles of milk, to make it more appealing. When we add sugar to a babies system that young we are almost certainly giving them an addiction to sugar. I believe that this is a huge cause of diabeties in this country, because we are depriving our kiddos if we don't give them juice, or let them have that cookie. All of the processed foods that we buy or that come from fast food restaurants are counting on us not caring to look at the sugar or sodium content. This is just some of the things I have been realizing this week. Food for thought if you will.

My goals for this week
So this next week starting tomorrow, I am going to try and go one week without Rice or pasta. I will talk with you next week and see if I feel a difference. I will be eating potatoes as my main carbs and small amounts of bread. Oh and did I tell you that today makes one whole week without soda? I am so proud of myself. I am not even craving a soda very often anymore. We drink tea and some juice. But we really are trying to increase  our water.

Celebrate
I have 2 reasons to celebrate this week. One I can not tell you about until I get permission too, so sorry for the tease. And 2 I realized that I never celebrated the fact that I have been blogging over a year now. This is a huge accomplishment for me. Although I am not completely consistent yet, I am getting better. I started the blog with one friend and have seen my followers grow a little along the way. My blog had no direction and slowly God changed my thought to align with His purpose in my life. I also have seen friends start blogs and become successful with them. And we get to grow together in this journey. I am going to work on a little blog surprise to come and I have a challenge for you. If you read my blog or other peoples blogs and don't follow them, would you consider following. I can't tell you how overjoyed it makes me feel to see my friend list  grow even by that one person. Also if you have a blog that I don't follow, will you let me know about it. Leave the URL on my comment screen and I will add you. Lets support each other in the things we go through. Don't forget I promised my sister that I would get a tattoo if I got 100 followers. So I will get working on that surprise and leav you now. Have a great day and God Bless!

Overeaters Anonymous

So I went to my first meeting on Saturday! I was excited about somethings and disappointed about others. Let me start by telling you what I learned about myself.

What is Compulsive Eating?

"Compulsion" is defined as an irresistible desire to take an often irrational action. The word "irresistible" means we are unable to resist the urge, no matter how many promises we have made to ourselves or others. In our case, we have the compulsion of being unable to control our eating behaviors. In OA we believe compulsive overeating is a disease with physical, emotional and spiritual components. A disease causes some aspect of the body to malfunction. In our case, it's the complex system that governs food behavior. The body mechanisms  that allow normal eaters to push the plate away, or otherwise control their food behaviors, don't function properly for us. For some, the disease acts much like an alcohol or drug addiction; except in our case, certain foods or overeating itself stimulate an insatiable craving for more. The OA definition of compulsive eating covers all facets of unhealthy eating behaviors. It's not only how much we eat or how much we weigh, but the ways in which we try to control our food. Some of us hide our food and eat in secret. Some binge and purge, while others alternate between overeating and starvation. All compulsive eaters have one thing in common: no matter whether we're struggling with overeating, undereating, bingeing, purging, or starving ourselves, we are driven by forces we don't understand to deal with food in irrational and self-destructive ways. Once compulsive eating as an illness has taken hold, an individual's willpower cannot stop it. The power of choice over food is gone. (This paragraph was taken straight from the Overeaters Anonymous Question and Answers guide)

So this shouldn't be news to me, but it was. In the back of my mind I was ready for God to deliver me from this addiction. Don't get me wrong I know he has the power to do anything. But I now look at my addiction like my sinful nature. I will always have the sinful flesh in my body, but God has given me the power to not be sinful. I think it is the same way. I will always have this compulsion, but God can give me the power to abstain from overeating. In OA the times that we do control our overeating is time of abstinence.

So I know that this is a process and that I will with God's help overcome these periods of non-abstinence. But until then I will continue to quote the motto, One step at a time, one moment at a time! Every minute I choose God's way in this is a minute more of peace and understanding. That is true with everything in life, we can fight God or we can walk with Him in the garden.

What is God doing in your life?

I want to know! REALLY!! I have been on a writing hiatus way to long. I was trying to deal with a mass load of emotions coming at me and instead of writing it out I hide. But, I haven't been hiding from God and that is new. I actually have been digging deeper into God's Word and listening. Finally, HE says! Let me tell you a little about what I have been dealing with emotionally and then I will tell you what God is doing in my life. But I expect you to tell me what God is doing in yours!!!
Emotion 1: Grief
My brother in law almost died on July 5th this year. Him and his son were in a motorcycle wreck and my brother  Jimmy is still in ICU in critical condition. It has been a roller coaster of emotions of sadness and hope, anger and excitement. They were talking that he will never wake up and now they are saying when he wakes up, he may have no mental capacity. All I know is that God is at work in this situation and He is working miracles. I want to personally thank you for your prayers. Those of you that have know about this have been lifting up our family to God and we feel it! John also lost his uncle last month to cancer. So grieving I would say so!
Emotion 2: Failure
I thought by putting my weight loss goals and progress on my blog that it would help me work harder at weight loss. It wasn't, it was just making it harder for me to deal with failure. I realize now that it was another attempt at me fixing my life. I know that if I am going to change that it has to be God working in me. His power, not my own. Sometimes, I have trouble distinguishing the difference until it is too late. That is okay though. I learn the hard way and every failure is one step closer to success. Like a song quote from one of my favorite movies says "Up from the ashes, grow the roses of success"! Anyone know which movie that is from?
I will let you stew on that a little bit!
Emotion 3: ????????
Okay, have you ever felt an emotion that you can't place? There is no word for it? Last month I got a call from my dad's apartment complex. The moment I heard her name and where she was calling from my pulse quickened. I knew it was going to be not good. Tracy proceeded to tell me that she was concerned for my dad because he was giving her documented letters saying that the person in the apartment upstairs was trying to microwave his brain. He also had foil on his walls and ceiling. I should have been shocked, but I wasn't. You see when my dad worked in the Air Force, he was around a lot of toxic chemicals. He built missiles! One day when I was 2 there was an explosion in his area of the plant and because of faulty suits, my dad's team was exposed to a very dangerous mixture of toxins. Most of his friends ended up being vegetables or dying. My dad however started getting funny symptoms. Sensitivity to sounds and smells. Angry bursts of emotions. Ticks and headaches. Blackouts and random pain. This is just to name a few. Because of the classified nature of this work, he did not get benefits. In fact he had to fight the veteran's board for 17 years to get any disabled status. He didn't get enough, but he settled on some. Dad has seemed mostly normal to outsiders. He can hide mot of his issues. But his disability has isolated him from mostly everyone. His angry and sometimes unexcusable moods led him to divorcing my mom. Instead of him turning for help, he ran away and decided that a life alone would be better. Living alone can turn anyone crazy. But it has made my dad paranoid. He really thinks that people are trying to kill him. God granted me forgiveness towards my dad
for the crazy life he has put us through. Celebrate Recovery has led me to have compassion for him. And God's grace has led my dad to trust me. There is no one else in this world that he does trust. And I am ever grateful of that gift. But during that fateful call, I had to explain the madness my dad goes through, to a STRANGER! I had never told a complete stranger my part of his story before. It was awakening and sad and indescribable. It left me vulnerable and exposed, knowing that this woman had the power to get him kicked out. It also left me feeling very out of control. I couldn't do anything!!! I can't explain to my dad why it is crazy for him to write people like the apartment complex or the Attorney General or even the governor. They don't care about his non-existent problems. They don't but they should. It was a very tough situation, but it has led to great things. Tracy said that she would keep in touch with me on the situation. I have been able to make peace with the fact that I cannot change dad's situation or fix it and that GOD will handle it. I also have been able to talk with others in CR that give me great insight on how to deal with mentally challenged people. MENTALLY CHALLENGED, that is hard to say. I got a glimpse into my future and realized that this was another weaving into my tapestry and that God was going to use this strand to bring Him glory. The most difficult of situations brings out the most beautiful parts of our stories.
Emotion 4: Excitement 
During this hiatus I have been searching my heart about this food addiction of mine. I want it gone and over with. I want to be free from the bondage of food. But, I also have been looking at this the wrong way. God doesn't allow us to go through pain so that we can get over it. He wants us to triumph over it but always remember it. To use it for His Glory! If I could just get over it, I would forget about it. No that is not acceptable. I have never met anyone who has triumphed over a food addiction. This is very discouraging! But I also have realized that I am not allowing God to lead me to the people who might have had success. So God is leading me to go to Overeaters Anonymous. I really think that this is God's will. I need to get tips and tricks on how to change my habits with food. I really believe that God is going to help me triumph over this. I am very excited on this new development and will keep you up to date on this. VERY EXCITED! Please pray that I listen to God's cues and not mine on this and that I stay strong. So this is what is happening in my life and know it is time for you tell me what is happening in yours. Need help? Check out the blessings that are helping in some of my other friends lives!
Tanya, Leigh, Megan, Beth, Layla and Abby!

Weight Loss Wednesdays- Week 1- What changes are going to happen

I took a blue chip for my food addiction. This is a big thing for me. Let me explain how this works. In Celebrate Recovery we take chips to celebrate clean or sober time in our lives. This means you are surrendering something to God. Anything that is a hurt, a habit, or a hangup. Some examples are anger, poor managing of finances, grief, co-dependence, alcohol addiction, drug addiction, divorce, etc..... I have taken many blue chips in my life, but I have never taken one for food. I wanted to be ready. I needed to feel that it was the right time to surrender this addiction to God. A food addiction is a serious addiction. You don't have to be morbidly obese, which I am, to have a food addiction. If you have food on your mind 24/7 then you are in bondage. I do this. I am planning my meals from the moment I wake up. I think about eating all day. I can share food with others as long as I have enough on my plate and more on backup. I get angry when good food is wasted, really angry. I panic if I don't have money or food to eat in the house. I am a slave to food. I plan my day around it. I feel very disappointed if the meal isn't up to my expectations. I use going out to eat as entertainment instead of placing my entertainment in activities.

I have been listening to Joyce Meyers "Eat and Stay Thin". It is very powerful! She is helping me to break the bondage of food with God's word and gives the glory to Him. This is why I know that this has to work. My food addiction has been put before God. He didn't design me to be a slave to anything. We are free from the law. We are free from any addictions. Everything God made is good. So why do I pervert it into something bad. The fresh green leafy foods, the sweet berries, the succulent meats, etc etc. I prefer boxed foods, hamburger helper, hot dogs, McDonalds, boxed mac-n-cheese, and so forth. Its easier to grab a Lean Cuisine than it is to make a fresh salad and grilled chicken. Its easier to have hamburger helper for dinner than to make something. I grew up this way and old habits are hard to break. But break them I must. I love to cook but really cooking meals that take a while to make and not eating in the process is hard. Hard boiled eggs instead of fried. homemade fresh spaghetti sauce instead of jarred stuff full of sodium and extra preservatives that hurt me. There is not going to be a diet, but a healthy eating plan. I know what I should and shouldn't eat. I know that frying chicken is not as good for me as boiled, baked or broiled chicken. I know that salads full of greens and veggies will make me feel better than a bowl of mac-n-cheese. 

I am going to rely on the Holy Spirit to guide my eating decisions. He will not lead me astray. I also am going to follow the six week body eating plan that was designed for my body. Nothing processed is allowed in my body except for cheese. I am going to eat 6 small meals a day with protein in every meal. This speeds up my metabolism. I am going to stick to 1/2 cup of carbs and 2 to 3 ounces of protein for 3 of those meals. The other three meals will be 2 to 3 ounces of protein and 1/2 cup of fruit. I will eat a healthy amount of veggies everyday to help me stay full. The majority of my carbs will come from potatoes and rice, because my body type does not digest pasta and breads well.  I am going to replace the special out to eat meals with homemade meals. We will make a special meal every week that will fill that void of going out to eat. If I want ice cream I will make it, then I might enjoy it more. I will continue to fall in love with water. I will make mistakes and fall occasionally, but that is OK because it is not a diet. I am not perfect, but with God's help I will succeed!!!

 I am hoping that we can afford a scale this week and that I will have my measurements and starting weight by next week. But not a scale like this! We will be slowly replacing the food in our house and I hope to have my menu and new eating plan completely running by June 1st. So be patient with me as I have to do this slowly for us to be able to afford this type of change. Once my healthy eating plan is started I give you full responsibility to hold me accountable. I will be completely honest on my blog about how good or bad I have been that week. After all if I lie then I am only cheating myself.
Here's to healthy eating for all and FREEDOM!!!!!

Falling in love with water!

When I fell in love with John it was new and exciting and fulfilling. But it took a lot of work to maintain the love affair. When the newness falls away and we see the good and the bad, we both had to consciously decide to work at it. Well that is how I am going to approach my new task this week. To re-fall in love with water. Everything that God made is good! And because he formed my body to need and crave water, that is what I am going to drink.

My addiction to food isn't my only addiction. I have always been addicted to soda also. Diet coke and Dr. Pepper were my poisons of choice. Anytime that I would have a diet coke, my stomach would start churning from the moment of that first sip. I knew what it would do to me. I knew there would be stomach pains and gas, much too much time spent in the bathroom and just an over all feeling of yuck. All from one can! But would I put it down, no. I was more afraid of being free from it. It was my comfort my shield. The same way that food is. When  I was a teenager I would freeze a 1 liter bottle of Dr. Pepper overnight and have it for breakfast. I remember stopping Dr. Pepper for awhile and that first week the withdrawal symptoms were awful! I had headaches mood swings and even shakiness. This should have deterred me from ever picking one up again, but like any addict I couldn't truly stop without the help of God. 

In the recent months, God has been preparing me to cleanse my body of the poisons that I have been putting in my body. The fattening food, the Carb catastrophe, the overload of sodium, the soda and the deadly portions of all of them. I have been feeling that I am finally ready to kick this addiction to food. Food will no longer be my master. I will not be ruled by what I can or cannot eat. I will not spend countless hours planning, thinking, and meditating on food. How will I do this? Only with God's help. I am counting on the Holy Spirit to guide my thoughts and change my habits. I will speak more about this on Weight loss Wednesdays, but today is about water. 

My love affair with water started when I was very young. My Memaw and Papaw had a pool and by the age of 6 months I could swim in it between Mom and Dad. I was definitely a water baby. When I am near water a feeling of calm and peace slip over me. I am safe I am home and I am nearer to God. I remember going to Maine to visit my best-est friend and she took me to the ocean for the very first time. I was so excited. I think it was May and the water was ice cold, but I stuck my feet in it. I had to touch it and feel it. I even made a sand castle. Then later in life I took a trip to California for church and we spent a couple of hours on the beach and I never felt closer to God. He was there making sand castles with me and watching His child be sublimely happy. 

Many of the adventures that are on my list involve water. Para-sailing, water skiing, swimming with dolphins, going on a house boat, etc... These things are some of my inspirations for falling in love with water. Also the overall health of my body. Feeling good and getting closer to my goal weight. Saving the money that I would spend on soda when water is free. Teaching good water loving habits to my daughter. 

Today, May 09, 2011 I hear-by start my water drinking habit. No more will soda touch my lips. I will limit my tea drinking to minimum. I will drink at least 64 ounces of water a day, more if possible. I hear-for assign accountablility duty to my friends, family and internet friends, in-which you are allowed to gently scold, and direct me back to a water loving habit, should I stray. Thank you for your support, Teresa