When Depression Hits Me

This past week I have been hit with a little depression. It's amazing to me how many people deal with depression and still it is a taboo subject. So many women afraid to talk about how they get depressed because of the reactions they get. Like "You just need to buck up! You'll get through this." " You should be praying more, if you are depressed it's because you aren't praying enough." Or "What do you have to be unhappy about?"

Phrases like this, keep women in the dark. I remember the first time I realized I was depressed after a long horrible 6 months of crying and barely leaving the house. It was like a lightbulb had gone off. I wasn't just not praying enough, like I had been told by someone I looked up to! I was clinically depressed and needed some help. So I had a friend who led me to a counselor and I was able to talk through some of the issues that was keeping me paralized in depression. Now I know the devestation of depression and I know that everyone who deals with depression is a little different. Some people require a little medication to balance out their system. Some people need long term medication to keep their hormone levels straight and some like me just need to talk it out. None of the types are better than the other and all are real! After I got through that long bout of depression, my depression only hits me in smaller times and are few and farther between.

What I feel that God is leading me to say, may be harsh. But one of the greatest things I have learned in CR is how we are not meant to fix others. Telling someone something like the stuff above may be the truth, and it may actually help them, but unless they ask you for advise, then keep your nose out! Listen I know it's hard. I have seen how much being in a safe place like CR opens up people to talking, because they make it safe. A rule that we must follow in group is that we are not there to fix one another. We have to keep it about us. What is God working on us this week, not how can you pray for so and so cause she is going through a divorce. Or we should really talk to her about her missing so much church. Or did you hear about this person's son getting arrested? IT'S ALL GOSSIP!!!! And gossip destroys! Just like mentioning to someone what they should do to fix their life is part of codependency. And really we all do it. Even after I go to CR and am immersed in the safeness of it, I still go home and forget. I tell people all the time that they need CR and I am doing the same thing. So I am sorry, if I have done that to you. I am working on me constantly.
"whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others;"

Psalm 15:2-4

"They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows."

Psalm 64:2-4

So when depression hits I try to immerse myself in CR a little bit more, read God's word and mostly get out of the house. When I am depressed I want to hide in a little safe hole and never come out. But luckily God puts people in my life that help draw me out of my shell and bring me back out into the light. The devil loves it when I hide in the darkness, he will use anything he can to bring me there and anything to keep me there. This time the depression wasn't too bad, because I got out of the house a little and because of CR. But it was still there and it was real. I hope this post reaches someone who has been dealing with depression and is afraid of talking about it. I hope they feel less alone and free to talk about it. We are all dealing with hurts, habits or hang-ups in this life and talking about it is the first step to freedom.