Being Bad!

There is a carnal sinful side to me. The kind that likes to disobey. The kind that says NO WAY! The part of me that  REBELS! This girl comes out anytime I want to change my life truly for the better and says You Don't need to CHANGE! You are fine, your life is perfect. But what she is really saying is that staying in bondage is easier than being free. Changing your life means getting uncomfortable. Means rocking the boat. Change means getting off the couch. Change means walking against the crowd. So do me a favor and if you see that girl tell her to GO AWAY! I want to be free!

I have had a tougher time getting off the soda than I thought I would. But I won't let it beat me. I am worth the change! I was designed by a loving GOD that destined me for greatness! I haven't been good enough on the budget to save for a scale yet, but it is coming soon. I will keep you guys posted. It has been a tough couple of weeks and I have missed writing and reading your posts. I am hoping to get back to a schedule soon.

But on a positive note, my apartment is slowly coming together. The pool is supposed to open soon and I can't wait to get Joslyn into the pool! I really think she will like it! I have been spending a lot of time writing down recipes that are healthy and delicious. Most of the stuff I am trying to make will have lots of veggies or is a healthier version of food that we love!
Like home made peanut butter, ice cream, baked chicken taquitos, grilled summer fresh peppers, and many more good recipes! I am planning on weekly meal plans and that will help me plan budget friendly menus and grocery trips. Getting super excited, every time I make a little change that will help me be a little bit happier, healthier and more energetic! Together we can do this! Thanks for all of your support!

Watching what you watch!

God has been laying this post on my heart for a long time, so please bear with me.
6 months ago I was perusing Facebook and saw this video that one of my family members linked to their wall. It said something like this is why you shouldn't prank people. So my curiosity was peaked and I clicked on it. I watched in suspense as a guy with a face mask snuck up on a girl in her kitchen. She was then so scared that she ran out of her house into her back alley and then as her friend took of his mask, she violently got hit by a car. All of this was on video, she never got up and that was the end of it. This girl's life was over and I had just watched her last moments. I cannot tell you how many haunted dreams, day and night I have had over this 3 minute video.  The fact that this video was even on Facebook, is disturbing to me. How would this girl's family feel if they knew that people were watching this? Is there no decency anymore. I see titles of video's all the time that seem very personal and private moments that are strung up over the internet. Not good moments, nothing to be proud of, but then they have thousands of views.
Now I have talked before how I can't watch really scary movies without being affected. But real violence on the media is a real issue. Believe me I really have nothing to say about what should and shouldn't be watched on television. We are big fans of crime drama like NCIS, Criminal Minds and CSI. But the real crime and violence really affects me and I know that I can't be the only one affected. I am really a stickler about how much news and reality television we watch.  I also am very careful about how much television Joslyn watches. And its not for the reasons your probably thinking. Yes there are a lot of crummy shows out there that are posing as children's shows. But it's the commercials that I am actually trying to keep us from watching. Millions of dollars are spent deciding what the latest and greatest toys will be for each season. The toy makers and ad campaigns tell many of your kids what toys they must have. I hear people say how silly it is that people fight over the same toys at Christmas, but most parents are out there trying to get that coveted toy for a great price. It is amazing to me how many of the toys nowadays are useless for kids. The kids play with it for a week, a month maybe more but ultimately the toy ends up in the junk pile at the garage sale. I really love that Joslyn isn't attached to any characters yet. She does watch a few Barney video's but not very often. Most of her toys are balls and ABC toys and blocks. I don't mind her having dolls and a random toy that is a character, but I am not going to buy a specific toy because she saw it on TV. That is how I feel, like it or not. 

Silly Word - Day 2

Today's word is - OUTERIBE

OUTERIBE - a member of the indigenous tribe located in the outer regions of the World. This tribe is known for dancing naked upside down. Their diet mostly consist of bugs and roasted wild boar. The Outeribe people discovered pencils in 1802.
Used in a sentence - We visited the Outeribe people on our trip to India.

Weight Loss Wednesdays- Week 1- What changes are going to happen

I took a blue chip for my food addiction. This is a big thing for me. Let me explain how this works. In Celebrate Recovery we take chips to celebrate clean or sober time in our lives. This means you are surrendering something to God. Anything that is a hurt, a habit, or a hangup. Some examples are anger, poor managing of finances, grief, co-dependence, alcohol addiction, drug addiction, divorce, etc..... I have taken many blue chips in my life, but I have never taken one for food. I wanted to be ready. I needed to feel that it was the right time to surrender this addiction to God. A food addiction is a serious addiction. You don't have to be morbidly obese, which I am, to have a food addiction. If you have food on your mind 24/7 then you are in bondage. I do this. I am planning my meals from the moment I wake up. I think about eating all day. I can share food with others as long as I have enough on my plate and more on backup. I get angry when good food is wasted, really angry. I panic if I don't have money or food to eat in the house. I am a slave to food. I plan my day around it. I feel very disappointed if the meal isn't up to my expectations. I use going out to eat as entertainment instead of placing my entertainment in activities.

I have been listening to Joyce Meyers "Eat and Stay Thin". It is very powerful! She is helping me to break the bondage of food with God's word and gives the glory to Him. This is why I know that this has to work. My food addiction has been put before God. He didn't design me to be a slave to anything. We are free from the law. We are free from any addictions. Everything God made is good. So why do I pervert it into something bad. The fresh green leafy foods, the sweet berries, the succulent meats, etc etc. I prefer boxed foods, hamburger helper, hot dogs, McDonalds, boxed mac-n-cheese, and so forth. Its easier to grab a Lean Cuisine than it is to make a fresh salad and grilled chicken. Its easier to have hamburger helper for dinner than to make something. I grew up this way and old habits are hard to break. But break them I must. I love to cook but really cooking meals that take a while to make and not eating in the process is hard. Hard boiled eggs instead of fried. homemade fresh spaghetti sauce instead of jarred stuff full of sodium and extra preservatives that hurt me. There is not going to be a diet, but a healthy eating plan. I know what I should and shouldn't eat. I know that frying chicken is not as good for me as boiled, baked or broiled chicken. I know that salads full of greens and veggies will make me feel better than a bowl of mac-n-cheese. 

I am going to rely on the Holy Spirit to guide my eating decisions. He will not lead me astray. I also am going to follow the six week body eating plan that was designed for my body. Nothing processed is allowed in my body except for cheese. I am going to eat 6 small meals a day with protein in every meal. This speeds up my metabolism. I am going to stick to 1/2 cup of carbs and 2 to 3 ounces of protein for 3 of those meals. The other three meals will be 2 to 3 ounces of protein and 1/2 cup of fruit. I will eat a healthy amount of veggies everyday to help me stay full. The majority of my carbs will come from potatoes and rice, because my body type does not digest pasta and breads well.  I am going to replace the special out to eat meals with homemade meals. We will make a special meal every week that will fill that void of going out to eat. If I want ice cream I will make it, then I might enjoy it more. I will continue to fall in love with water. I will make mistakes and fall occasionally, but that is OK because it is not a diet. I am not perfect, but with God's help I will succeed!!!

 I am hoping that we can afford a scale this week and that I will have my measurements and starting weight by next week. But not a scale like this! We will be slowly replacing the food in our house and I hope to have my menu and new eating plan completely running by June 1st. So be patient with me as I have to do this slowly for us to be able to afford this type of change. Once my healthy eating plan is started I give you full responsibility to hold me accountable. I will be completely honest on my blog about how good or bad I have been that week. After all if I lie then I am only cheating myself.
Here's to healthy eating for all and FREEDOM!!!!!

Falling in love with water!

When I fell in love with John it was new and exciting and fulfilling. But it took a lot of work to maintain the love affair. When the newness falls away and we see the good and the bad, we both had to consciously decide to work at it. Well that is how I am going to approach my new task this week. To re-fall in love with water. Everything that God made is good! And because he formed my body to need and crave water, that is what I am going to drink.

My addiction to food isn't my only addiction. I have always been addicted to soda also. Diet coke and Dr. Pepper were my poisons of choice. Anytime that I would have a diet coke, my stomach would start churning from the moment of that first sip. I knew what it would do to me. I knew there would be stomach pains and gas, much too much time spent in the bathroom and just an over all feeling of yuck. All from one can! But would I put it down, no. I was more afraid of being free from it. It was my comfort my shield. The same way that food is. When  I was a teenager I would freeze a 1 liter bottle of Dr. Pepper overnight and have it for breakfast. I remember stopping Dr. Pepper for awhile and that first week the withdrawal symptoms were awful! I had headaches mood swings and even shakiness. This should have deterred me from ever picking one up again, but like any addict I couldn't truly stop without the help of God. 

In the recent months, God has been preparing me to cleanse my body of the poisons that I have been putting in my body. The fattening food, the Carb catastrophe, the overload of sodium, the soda and the deadly portions of all of them. I have been feeling that I am finally ready to kick this addiction to food. Food will no longer be my master. I will not be ruled by what I can or cannot eat. I will not spend countless hours planning, thinking, and meditating on food. How will I do this? Only with God's help. I am counting on the Holy Spirit to guide my thoughts and change my habits. I will speak more about this on Weight loss Wednesdays, but today is about water. 

My love affair with water started when I was very young. My Memaw and Papaw had a pool and by the age of 6 months I could swim in it between Mom and Dad. I was definitely a water baby. When I am near water a feeling of calm and peace slip over me. I am safe I am home and I am nearer to God. I remember going to Maine to visit my best-est friend and she took me to the ocean for the very first time. I was so excited. I think it was May and the water was ice cold, but I stuck my feet in it. I had to touch it and feel it. I even made a sand castle. Then later in life I took a trip to California for church and we spent a couple of hours on the beach and I never felt closer to God. He was there making sand castles with me and watching His child be sublimely happy. 

Many of the adventures that are on my list involve water. Para-sailing, water skiing, swimming with dolphins, going on a house boat, etc... These things are some of my inspirations for falling in love with water. Also the overall health of my body. Feeling good and getting closer to my goal weight. Saving the money that I would spend on soda when water is free. Teaching good water loving habits to my daughter. 

Today, May 09, 2011 I hear-by start my water drinking habit. No more will soda touch my lips. I will limit my tea drinking to minimum. I will drink at least 64 ounces of water a day, more if possible. I hear-for assign accountablility duty to my friends, family and internet friends, in-which you are allowed to gently scold, and direct me back to a water loving habit, should I stray. Thank you for your support, Teresa

Silly words!

Have you ever wondered how they come up with the words on word verification for blogger. If you are a blogger then every time you post a comment on someone's blog, if they have set it up this way, then you have to type in a silly word to show that you are not a computer.

So in honor of trying to enhance the mood around my house, ( we have a sick baby), I am going to show you today's word and tell you my definition of it.


TODAY IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE WORD: PREVAIRK

PREVAIRK - a prehistoric ardvark. Dating back to the stone age, this animal was 12 feet tall with a long bushy tail and a nose the size of a mammoth. Ants were about a foot long back then and the Prevairk would suck up one ant per minute.

Sentence: The Prevairk ate the ant that was cutting down the tree.


Stay tuned for tomorrow's word.

Downsizing!

Old                                                             New
2200 Square feet                                        850 Square feet
Large kitchen w/Island                               Small boxed in kitchen but lots of storage
3 bedrooms                                                2 bedrooms
2 full baths with garden tub                        2 baths no tub in second bath
3 + acres                                                    small patio
sounds of coyotes and animals at night      sounds of neighbors/highway
quiet peaceful days                                    sounds of lawn maintence/children
skies full of stars                                       1 star, nope that's an airplane
mice and bugs everywhere outside            1 spider so far,routine bug sprays
awful carpet and linoleum                          decent carpet and linoleum
laundry room                                              laundry facility on premises
huge master walk-in closet                         small master closet
45 minute drive to work                             5 minute drive to work

Okay I can go on and on about how we are downsizing. Is this list pros or cons? It may look like cons but mostly it is pros. How do you say that down sizing is good? Let me tell you. 2200 square feet may sound like a dream, but if you don't like cleaning it can be a nightmare. It took so much energy to keep that place clean that by the time my guests came over I was too exhausted to really enjoy them. The large kitchen I will miss, the island was nice, but it collected clutter like crazy. The cabinet and pantry were huge but with the constant mice problem we had to wash everything and put all food in containers. 3 bedrooms are a lot to maintain, but I always felt guilty that no one was staying in the third bedroom. Now when guest come to stay the night they have to sleep on a pull out couch but at least they won't over stay their welcome that way. LOL, ok joking about that one. I do love having guests and I wish that I could give them 5 star service when they come but then they wouldn't be visiting me. Okay the garden tub would be something that I would miss except the trailer didn't have a big enough water tank to even fill 1/4th of that tub. I don't know about you but I don't like taking cold bubble baths. 3+ acres? How is this a dream come true when you have a toddler and your husband is always working? Not to mention the lawn mower that was always needing a part or maintained. Now the sounds of the coyotes was so special and Piper would howl back at them. But we always had to worry about what the dogs were going to get into and chase after. I also was so lazy with the dogs, just letting them free and not walking with them, here I have to get out and walk them and pick up after them. It helps me be healthier. Quiet peaceful days with no one coming to my door allowed me to nap with Joslyn and enjoy the quiet moments. But it was awful lonely sometimes especially for this codependent. Skies full of stars will always be better than skies full of smog, but John and I will get to cherish the moments we will go camping and seek out the stars. He is already planning our first big star-filled vacation. In the country there were bugs everywhere you looked. We did our best to keep them out of the house, but I will never forget the days that the dogs would bring home the mice or gophers or moles. Sometime skunks and dead possums. At least their is a better preventative here for pests, I hate mice!!!! The first and almost only complaint I had about the trailer right away was the awful carpet and flooring. The carpet was very old and shaggy. I had purchased some cheap rugs to try and cover it as much as possible. The shag carpet is the worst to have in the country due to the stickers and cockaburrs (SP?). Every one of them stuck into it and stayed there. The carpet in the new place isnt new, we wanted a discounted rate due to the dogs. But it is decent and I haven't found one cockaburr! Having a washer and dryer in your house is very convienent, but I didn't do laundry all the time. I usually let it pile up and waited til the last minute. But it was good for sick days when you had to wash something right then like your daughter throws up on something, its good to wash it asap. But here John and I take turns doing laundry and watching the little one. If I get to do laundry then it is some time without my daughter, and if John does it then I don't have to, win win!!! There is nothing good about losing a closet the size of a room. Nuff said! 40 more minutes of daddy time!

I am not telling you these things to put down our old house, every minute there was a blessing from God. The people in Chickasha will always have a special place in my heart. They took my broken insecure heart and filled in the broken pieces with parts of their hearts. But I believe that God has lessons in every situation and place that you are. This new place is a new chance to grow into the person that God wants me to be. A new chance to meet and witness to new people. A new chance to grow into a new ministry. A new chance to have new adventures. A new chance to become a better wife and mother. Here's to new experiences and new adventures.

Closing thoughts: Can downsizing in your life leave room in your heart and schedule to do more for God?