Crossing the lines

I would like you to do something for me, please. Look around at your neighborhood. Go look out the window and tell me what you see? Do you consider your neighborhood safe? Do you have items in your home to keep you safe?

I will tell you what I see. I have a lock bar sitting by my door, to put up at night. I look across the courtyard and see children unsupervised play fighting with sticks. Probably too young to be out by themselves. If I were to look down the street, I would see run down houses with unkempt yards and mangy dogs. Right down the street in walking distance is an elementary school, which is enclosed by gates and bars. So would you think that by what I describe that we are safe? I say yes and let me tell you why.

When we moved here in April of last year, I got a lot of comments about the neighborhood. Is that a safe area? I hear about a lot of violence in that area! And my favorite is I hope you don't get broken into! Of course being a young mother I was concerned about the safety of my little girl. But God has taught me so much about safety in the last couple years.

1. My safety is always in the hands of my Savior!
It breaks my heart to hear of Christians worrying themselves sick over loved ones who are away from them. I remember being newly married and being in a immobilizing depression because my husband was away from me. Will he be safe when he flies on the plane or drives over the road as a truck driver. My stomach acids would churn and I would be sick for hours with worrry. It took me a lot of time to realize that God had his hands on my loved one, whether or not I did. A soldier over seas is no more in danger of dying than he is here. Why? Because our God is that big! He doesn't just cover a certain area with His hands and say if you go over there it is out of His reach! Yet we wouldn't be human if we didn't worry. But what we are telling God is that I don't think you can handle the safety of my loved one, so I am going to keep close eye on him incase.

2. Being safe not stupid.
Now does this mean I should let my daughter play in traffic? Probably not! Okay Okay NO! But when does it cross the life from trusting God and being stupid? First of all you have to have a trust in God to even understand what I am saying. I mean fully trusting God! I think of missionaries when I write this. I recently have met a precious blogger named Amy, who adopted 5 children from other countries, 2 from Guatemala. Then the country of Guatemala closed for adoption, so what does her family do? They move there! God told them to go and serve at the orphanage called Eagle's Nest and they went. Were they concerned about moving their 9(count em) 9 kids to Guatemala and the safety, I'm sure that they were a little. But when God says go, he not only provides a way He protects and blesses. The work that they do in Eagle's Nest is not only beneficial to the orphans, but a complete blessing to them. And as a side note all who read her blog are blessed also! When we are doing God's will, it isn't about where or when or how, it's about yes or no. And when we ask God to use us as a blessing and as His hands and feet, we need to follow where He leads. Many times when we do something and aren't protected, it is because we are following our own selfish wants and needs and not His will. It's all about having the connection with God and waiting for His lead. Just ask and you will be blessed for it.

3. When our kids are concerned.
I have to talk about schools for a minute. And I know that I am probably going to get a lot of heat about this and I am prepared for that. It does not matter what school you go to! Let me explain. I was raised in the mean streets of Dallas. My 7th grade year I was one of 5 white kids in my school. There were 9 permanent cop cars parked at my middle school and they were always busy arresting kids with guns and knifes. My mother walked to work at night in this neighborhood to the hospital and me and my younger brother and sister were at home alone. Before my mother left each night she would pray a prayer of protection over the house and herself and trust that God would take care of us. And He did, I never even heard the word drugs until I was 21 and we were robbed a couple of times, but it was always stuff we didn't need and we were never home at the time. Because of my upbringing, it was always apparent at an early age how much God took care of us. While my peers struggled with material and worldly issues, I struggled with spiritual issues. I am not trying to elevate myself at all, I am saying this to help you realize what God has revealed to me. Here it is, if you are concerned with worldly issues then it matters where you live and what schools your kids go to, if you are concerned with your children becoming Godly children then it only matters where God tells you to go. I wonder where Mother Teresa went to school and if she would have been sent to the best schools with the best teachers if she would have had time to consider a lifestyle like God had planned for her? I am not saying at all that it is wrong to send your kid to a great school. But if your attitude is that your child cannot be the best that God has called him to be in this school or that school, then your motives are probably wrong. Hate me or not, I believe this to be true. God may want your child to be a doctor or He may want your child to start a street church, it is about His will and not ours.

So there it is! I am ready so bring on the comments. Are you willing to stay safe or are you willing to cross the lines into faith?

My story!

Growing up in the church, I was used to hearing people's testimony. Fabulous missionaries telling their wonderful stories of salvation and discovery. Or sometimes it would be a dramatic story of heartbreak to triumph when God was discovered as the answers to everything. All wonderful stories that would move my heart and bring tears to my eyes. I wanted that! I didn't want the heartbreak or the hardtimes that come with missionary work, but I did long for the drama. I know what you are thinking! Drama! Who would ever want that? But as a teenager I longed for it.

I wanted to experience the unknown of the world (still do). I wanted to feel love that moved mountains when it was strong and caused earthquakes when it fell apart. I wanted to be so inspiring that people couldn't help but want to be near me, (I know, childish dreams). And I wanted to be a part of something so revolutionary, that we could see and hear and feel the world changing around us. Now that's dramatic!

When I accepted Christ in my heart at the age of five in my bedroom with my mom praying the prayer with me, I was immediately filled with happiness. But as a teenager I would watch people come to Christ after having such tragedy and heartaches in their lives, and you would see them transform in front of you. The next few weeks they would be spouting off Bible verses and telling others about the change God has made in them. They would glow with Jesus and they would yern for the Bible like it was the new gossip column that you couldn't wait to get your hands on. I would long for that feeling. The Bible was like old news to me. I knew that it was good news, but it was old news. I had heard it, I had gotten over the shiny new luster of the print that transformed lives and brought about change.

Now I know how selfish I sound. I felt selfish too. I didn't understand how wonderful I had it. People would tell me that I was lucky to grow up knowing Christ and I was. So very lucky, but I would see them changing lives and influencing people and I couldn't get over it. I longed for that one thing that would make me unique, that would bring me peace and make me inspiring. I did have a dramatic life and I did influence people and I was and still am a part of something revolutionary. I just didn't know it. I was lost in my own pain and trapped by my fear.

3 years ago I walked into this little program at my church called Celebrate Recovery. I went to learn tools on how to help a couple of teenagers I knew that were hurting. it didn't take long for me to realize that I was hurting as well. So I committed myself to the program and to learning more about helping myself break down walls that I have built and distinguish the lies from the truth. It was the devil that told me that I had nothing to offer. It was him that made me feel uninspiring. AND it was him that brought pain and hurt in my life to keep me from growing closer to God. But the worst thing I learned was that it was me who stopped living because of those lies and fear.

The biggest lesson that I have learned is that dramatic people move. Dramatic people risk. There are really dramatic people out there that scare me. Have you ever met someone out there that was so crazy and revolutionary that you are afraid of them? Or maybe afraid of being seen with them? When we have a God that made the universe and you and me. A God that takes care of every creature on this Earth and knows the number of hairs on your head, what do we have to be afraid of? Yet sometimes the most crippling thing that can happen to us is fear. I was afraid to move. I was afraid to risk anything. Love, my life, my heart, my story. Well no more.

Celebrate Recovery brought me past those lies and pain to be able to see my testimony. The story that God has written for me to tell. This week, I told a portion of my story to some of my dear friends at CR. God isn't through writing my story yet, but I can tell you this. The rest of my story is going to be full of love that moves mountains, inspiration that brings people together, unknown worldly stories that get discovered, and a revolution that changes the world. How do I know? Because I am moving, I step at a time, toward that path that God has designed for me. A story towards greatness. What is your story?

ps. If you want to hear my story, you need to take a step. Email me!