"Falling on my knees in worship, giving all I have to seek your face, Lord all I am is yours." - Came To My Rescue by Hillsong United
As Joslyn and I walked into church this past Sunday I was feeling good. I had gotten her ready by myself and we were running only 10 minutes late to Sunday school. I have gotten used to going to church without my significant other. But as usual there was a small pain that went up my spine as I sit down alone. A little bit of hurt as I look around at the other oblivious couples that sit together and worship together and give together and pray together. But determined to not let the devil win I walk into the couples Bible study alone and luckily see a friend I can sit with who was also alone. The Bible study was good and I walk into the main church service into really good spirits. I find a seat in my usual area and get approached by a wonderful lady I am getting to know a little bit better in CR, we have a great conversation that I know we never would have had if I was sitting with my husband. So when the service starts we open with some amazing worship songs. Let me stop here and tell you how wonderful our worship team is! One of my favorite new persons is our worship leader Chuck. Originally from Louisiana, he has this jazzy spirit that is infused with all the songs he sings. And having a momma who plays piano wonderfully, I can honestly say that he is one of the best piano players I have ever heard. Worship seems so natural coming from him and he has a way of making the whole crowd sway. So break over, anyways the songs were great but one of my all time favorite songs was the last one played. Revelation song
http://youtu.be/FObjd5wrgZ8
I don't think I have ever sang this song without feeling goosebumps and tears streaming down my face.
This morning was not any different. I know I would have probably not have felt that though if my hubby was there. Singing with both hands in the air reaching for my Lord and Savior and crying out to Him. So with half of the congregation sniffling we sit down to hear the message. Our Senior pastor was away speaking to the youth at the Youth State Convention. So pastor Jamie filled in. And let me tell you she was wonderful! She spoke about security and how we tend to need security but we look for the wrong things to make us secure. Alarms, dogs, good neighborhoods, money. So many things we use to make us feel secure and yet the righteous are already secure in Him. He has our security planned out, it is us who walks away from the security to follow our own paths. It was a great sermon but it wasn't until she read this verse that I got it. You know the reason I knew I was there that day. There is always that moment in church where I feel, okay I was supposed to be here today. The verse was
I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.
They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be a blessing. Psalms 37:25-26
My heart stops. My daughter. She will not be forsaken. I knew that God would take care of her, but I realized I had fallen into a trap. I was living my life day by day and assumed that she would chose the Lord. After all wasn't I setting a good example, wouldn't she be surrounded with my church friends that would rasie her up in the right way. But no I knew better, deep in my heart. My friends who struggle with the fact that their children aren't believers. That they make the wrong decisions that drag them away from the Lord. That no matter what they do, their children make their own decisions. Joslyn would be the same way. Choosing the wrong decisions sometimes. Sometimes running away from God when she needs to be running towards Him. It's her path not mine. But this verse is so important. The righteous's children will not be forsaken. That means when all is said and done, she will be a child of the Lord. But it was shame that brought me to the alter that morning. I hadn't been praying for my daughter's salvation. I haven't been faithful in praying for my husband to be brought back to the Lord. When they opened up the alter, I ran down there falling on my knees. Crying to the Lord for forgiveness. And feeling His love, thanking Him for my husband and my daughter. Then begging for my daughter to find Him and be a girl and woman that has a faith that changes the world. Most people want their children to be successful. But successful how? I want Joslyn's successes to be for the Kingdom of God not of this world. Who cares if she has a great job if she isn't following God's path. Who cares if she is making enough money for all the things she wants, if she isn't content in what God has given her? I also begged for God to bring my hubby back to Him. For me to have the faith and belief in Him that it shines through me in all I do. And for us to be a family that prays together and does God's divine work together.
I have made a commitment to be praying for them every night. Down on my knees praying. Heart opened and tears streaming prayers. Last night while my hubby went and got dinner (yummy chinese) I went to my room and dropped to my knees. I prayed for you too. For you to find your potential in Christ and to drop to your knees in heart wrenching prayer.
http://youtu.be/gArr7gyiMBY
MY GOALS FOR LIFE!
To transform my life, with God's help of course, one step at a time.
1. Get healthy & honor God with my body
2.Become at least 50% sustainable with emphasis on doing our part to take care of God's planet.
3. Live life as an adventure, experiencing new places, things & people.
18 out of 150 bucket list goals accomplished
4. Become debt free & build security for my family, so we can then bless others financially also.
5. Continue to grow closer to God, building My family's faith & sharing the Gospel with those we meet, by using the talents and gifts God has provided us.
6.Continue to make money by creating and sharing my thoughts and beliefs through artistic expression: all the while hoping that my art will impact others. "Holly Kennedy
1. Get healthy & honor God with my body
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter
2.Become at least 50% sustainable with emphasis on doing our part to take care of God's planet.
3. Live life as an adventure, experiencing new places, things & people.
18 out of 150 bucket list goals accomplished
4. Become debt free & build security for my family, so we can then bless others financially also.
5. Continue to grow closer to God, building My family's faith & sharing the Gospel with those we meet, by using the talents and gifts God has provided us.
6.Continue to make money by creating and sharing my thoughts and beliefs through artistic expression: all the while hoping that my art will impact others. "Holly Kennedy
: All I know is, if you don't figure out this something, you'll just stay ordinary, and it doesn't matter if it's a work of art, or a taco, or a pair of socks! Just create something... new, and there it is, and it's you, out in the world, outside of you, and you can look at it, or hear it, or read it, or feel it... and you know a little more about... you. A little bit more than anyone else does... Does that make any sense at all?" Quote from PS I LOVE YOU
Showing posts with label Christian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christian. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
When Depression Hits Me
This past week I have been hit with a little depression. It's amazing to me how many people deal with depression and still it is a taboo subject. So many women afraid to talk about how they get depressed because of the reactions they get. Like "You just need to buck up! You'll get through this." " You should be praying more, if you are depressed it's because you aren't praying enough." Or "What do you have to be unhappy about?"
Phrases like this, keep women in the dark. I remember the first time I realized I was depressed after a long horrible 6 months of crying and barely leaving the house. It was like a lightbulb had gone off. I wasn't just not praying enough, like I had been told by someone I looked up to! I was clinically depressed and needed some help. So I had a friend who led me to a counselor and I was able to talk through some of the issues that was keeping me paralized in depression. Now I know the devestation of depression and I know that everyone who deals with depression is a little different. Some people require a little medication to balance out their system. Some people need long term medication to keep their hormone levels straight and some like me just need to talk it out. None of the types are better than the other and all are real! After I got through that long bout of depression, my depression only hits me in smaller times and are few and farther between.
What I feel that God is leading me to say, may be harsh. But one of the greatest things I have learned in CR is how we are not meant to fix others. Telling someone something like the stuff above may be the truth, and it may actually help them, but unless they ask you for advise, then keep your nose out! Listen I know it's hard. I have seen how much being in a safe place like CR opens up people to talking, because they make it safe. A rule that we must follow in group is that we are not there to fix one another. We have to keep it about us. What is God working on us this week, not how can you pray for so and so cause she is going through a divorce. Or we should really talk to her about her missing so much church. Or did you hear about this person's son getting arrested? IT'S ALL GOSSIP!!!! And gossip destroys! Just like mentioning to someone what they should do to fix their life is part of codependency. And really we all do it. Even after I go to CR and am immersed in the safeness of it, I still go home and forget. I tell people all the time that they need CR and I am doing the same thing. So I am sorry, if I have done that to you. I am working on me constantly.
"whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others;"
Psalm 15:2-4
"They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows."
Psalm 64:2-4
So when depression hits I try to immerse myself in CR a little bit more, read God's word and mostly get out of the house. When I am depressed I want to hide in a little safe hole and never come out. But luckily God puts people in my life that help draw me out of my shell and bring me back out into the light. The devil loves it when I hide in the darkness, he will use anything he can to bring me there and anything to keep me there. This time the depression wasn't too bad, because I got out of the house a little and because of CR. But it was still there and it was real. I hope this post reaches someone who has been dealing with depression and is afraid of talking about it. I hope they feel less alone and free to talk about it. We are all dealing with hurts, habits or hang-ups in this life and talking about it is the first step to freedom.
Phrases like this, keep women in the dark. I remember the first time I realized I was depressed after a long horrible 6 months of crying and barely leaving the house. It was like a lightbulb had gone off. I wasn't just not praying enough, like I had been told by someone I looked up to! I was clinically depressed and needed some help. So I had a friend who led me to a counselor and I was able to talk through some of the issues that was keeping me paralized in depression. Now I know the devestation of depression and I know that everyone who deals with depression is a little different. Some people require a little medication to balance out their system. Some people need long term medication to keep their hormone levels straight and some like me just need to talk it out. None of the types are better than the other and all are real! After I got through that long bout of depression, my depression only hits me in smaller times and are few and farther between.
What I feel that God is leading me to say, may be harsh. But one of the greatest things I have learned in CR is how we are not meant to fix others. Telling someone something like the stuff above may be the truth, and it may actually help them, but unless they ask you for advise, then keep your nose out! Listen I know it's hard. I have seen how much being in a safe place like CR opens up people to talking, because they make it safe. A rule that we must follow in group is that we are not there to fix one another. We have to keep it about us. What is God working on us this week, not how can you pray for so and so cause she is going through a divorce. Or we should really talk to her about her missing so much church. Or did you hear about this person's son getting arrested? IT'S ALL GOSSIP!!!! And gossip destroys! Just like mentioning to someone what they should do to fix their life is part of codependency. And really we all do it. Even after I go to CR and am immersed in the safeness of it, I still go home and forget. I tell people all the time that they need CR and I am doing the same thing. So I am sorry, if I have done that to you. I am working on me constantly.
"whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others;"
Psalm 15:2-4
"They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows."
Psalm 64:2-4
So when depression hits I try to immerse myself in CR a little bit more, read God's word and mostly get out of the house. When I am depressed I want to hide in a little safe hole and never come out. But luckily God puts people in my life that help draw me out of my shell and bring me back out into the light. The devil loves it when I hide in the darkness, he will use anything he can to bring me there and anything to keep me there. This time the depression wasn't too bad, because I got out of the house a little and because of CR. But it was still there and it was real. I hope this post reaches someone who has been dealing with depression and is afraid of talking about it. I hope they feel less alone and free to talk about it. We are all dealing with hurts, habits or hang-ups in this life and talking about it is the first step to freedom.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Getting Rid of Sickness
Did you know that sickness is a way for your body to stay healthy?
Each sickness your body is exposed to builds up your antibodies to prepare you for another illness. In the same way God uses our past trials to prepare us for the next one. That is why it is so beneficial for us to pay attention and use the tools He has given us to get healthy.
As most of you know we have had sickness after sickness in our home. As we come out of the midst of this sickness, I thought that we would share a few tips I have learned to help us get rid of sickness.
We Rest!
Sickness, is an awful strain on your body, spirit and mind! I used to be the type of person that would work through sickness, and pain until I could go no longer. But being a mother has taught me the importance of slowing down and resting. I feel so much better when I put away the distractions and sleep. It is easy to get sick when we work our bodies to the point of exhaustion. Healthy people are those that sleep! Remember God even rested on the 7th day. I don't believe that God needed this rest but I believe that he did it as a lesson to us to follow, rest!
We Take our Medicine.
Most medicine is awful tasting but it is good for us! Our medicine for this last sickness was the nebulizer and albuterol. Let just tell you how much fun it is holding down a strong toddler to do a breathing treatment. But it is neccesary for her to get better, John had to practically hold me down to get me to do my treatments too! No one likes taking medicine, but we all have to take it once and awhile. When temptations and trials in our life cause a sickness of sin in us we have to take our medicine. God has seen the sin in us and therefore provided the medicine we need to get healthy, His Word! He hates to see us struggle with sin, but will allow us to suffer with it until we pick up The Bible and read. If you can't take the whole spoonful of medicine right away, then sip it. Listening to Christian radio stations like AirOne or KLove can be great tools. Reading books by famous Christian authors can help, just remember that the only one who can heal you is Jesus, so if the book isn't leading you to Him, then put it down. I reccomend John Baker (author of Celebrate Recovery), Beth Moore, Andy Stanley are just a few! Check out a local church or Christian bookstore and see what they reccomend.
We call in backup!
No one likes to be sick, but being sick without anyone there to help you feel better is worse. Whether it is a mom to soothe you to sleep, a sister to make or bring you soup, a friend to watch movies with you, we all need help. God designed us to need companionship! Especially during trials or sin. Jesus himself was surrounded with people he loved and trusted. Having people pray and hold you accountable during times like these can make or break you. Of course you know that i reccommend Celebrate Recovery, but a good strong church group or bible study group is good too. So make that phone call and ask for help, you'll be glad that you did.
We sanitize!
Anything that is plastic and doesn't have batteries is thrown into the bathtub with bleach water. Everything else is thrown into the laundry, the trash or sprayed down with Lysol! Don't give germs a foothold to stick around! Alike germs, the temptations of sin is contagious! Clean out your house of temptations and arm yourself with protection. If pornography is your sickness, then throw away the magazines, move the computer to a safe spot in the house, and find someone to hold you accountable. Since food addiction is my sickness, I have learned to only go grocery shopping with a list and a chapperone. I also keep busy because sitting around the house is a temptation to eat and I have my CR groups to help me stay accountable to eating and exercising.
We use good habits!
A sickness is a great reminder of why we should eat healthy, exercise and take care of ourselves! Reminding my daughter to wash her hands and keep toys out of her mouth is another way to keep sickness away. Praying, reading your Bible and meeting with your accountability partners help you keep good habits!
We prepare for sickness!
Staying stocked on medicines like tylenol and cold medicines help us be prepared for something that may hit us fast. Cough drops and allergy pills are a must at our house. Remember that sickness, trials and sin is part of life. If we deny it won't or can't happen to us then we won't be prepared when it does. Sometimes God will knock us off of our feet so He can carry us!
Here's to your health!
Each sickness your body is exposed to builds up your antibodies to prepare you for another illness. In the same way God uses our past trials to prepare us for the next one. That is why it is so beneficial for us to pay attention and use the tools He has given us to get healthy.
As most of you know we have had sickness after sickness in our home. As we come out of the midst of this sickness, I thought that we would share a few tips I have learned to help us get rid of sickness.
Sickness, is an awful strain on your body, spirit and mind! I used to be the type of person that would work through sickness, and pain until I could go no longer. But being a mother has taught me the importance of slowing down and resting. I feel so much better when I put away the distractions and sleep. It is easy to get sick when we work our bodies to the point of exhaustion. Healthy people are those that sleep! Remember God even rested on the 7th day. I don't believe that God needed this rest but I believe that he did it as a lesson to us to follow, rest!
Most medicine is awful tasting but it is good for us! Our medicine for this last sickness was the nebulizer and albuterol. Let just tell you how much fun it is holding down a strong toddler to do a breathing treatment. But it is neccesary for her to get better, John had to practically hold me down to get me to do my treatments too! No one likes taking medicine, but we all have to take it once and awhile. When temptations and trials in our life cause a sickness of sin in us we have to take our medicine. God has seen the sin in us and therefore provided the medicine we need to get healthy, His Word! He hates to see us struggle with sin, but will allow us to suffer with it until we pick up The Bible and read. If you can't take the whole spoonful of medicine right away, then sip it. Listening to Christian radio stations like AirOne or KLove can be great tools. Reading books by famous Christian authors can help, just remember that the only one who can heal you is Jesus, so if the book isn't leading you to Him, then put it down. I reccomend John Baker (author of Celebrate Recovery), Beth Moore, Andy Stanley are just a few! Check out a local church or Christian bookstore and see what they reccomend.
No one likes to be sick, but being sick without anyone there to help you feel better is worse. Whether it is a mom to soothe you to sleep, a sister to make or bring you soup, a friend to watch movies with you, we all need help. God designed us to need companionship! Especially during trials or sin. Jesus himself was surrounded with people he loved and trusted. Having people pray and hold you accountable during times like these can make or break you. Of course you know that i reccommend Celebrate Recovery, but a good strong church group or bible study group is good too. So make that phone call and ask for help, you'll be glad that you did.
Anything that is plastic and doesn't have batteries is thrown into the bathtub with bleach water. Everything else is thrown into the laundry, the trash or sprayed down with Lysol! Don't give germs a foothold to stick around! Alike germs, the temptations of sin is contagious! Clean out your house of temptations and arm yourself with protection. If pornography is your sickness, then throw away the magazines, move the computer to a safe spot in the house, and find someone to hold you accountable. Since food addiction is my sickness, I have learned to only go grocery shopping with a list and a chapperone. I also keep busy because sitting around the house is a temptation to eat and I have my CR groups to help me stay accountable to eating and exercising.
A sickness is a great reminder of why we should eat healthy, exercise and take care of ourselves! Reminding my daughter to wash her hands and keep toys out of her mouth is another way to keep sickness away. Praying, reading your Bible and meeting with your accountability partners help you keep good habits!
Staying stocked on medicines like tylenol and cold medicines help us be prepared for something that may hit us fast. Cough drops and allergy pills are a must at our house. Remember that sickness, trials and sin is part of life. If we deny it won't or can't happen to us then we won't be prepared when it does. Sometimes God will knock us off of our feet so He can carry us!
Here's to your health!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Friends!
It is very hard for me to believe that it has almost been a year since we moved out to the country, Chickasha, OK! Boy time does fly when you are having fun. I have discovered so much in this year that it is almost immeasurable. God has taught me many lessons this year through the help of friends and I want to take this time to thank those people that have been monumental in this year.
First I have grown many steps in my quest to enjoy "quiet time". I am not referring to quiet moments, which are only possible in this house if the toddler and all the dogs are sleeping. I am referring to being alone. You see, one of my constant struggles as a codependent is being alone. My inner being detests alone time. The devil knows this and uses every opportunity to bring me down, tell me lies and drudge up the past. But luckily God has used certain wonderful people in Chickasha to help me through these struggles and to teach me how to use this time to grow closer to God and learn more about myself.
Megan. She is a fellow blogger and Stay at home mom. I don't think she knows how much she has enriched my life. When I was searching for friends she befriended me at church and always had a friendly smile to offer. She is one of those people that I want to flock to because her heart for God is so available. Megan had invited us for lunch one day after church, no notice just an invite and I was and am still very grateful for that. It meant a lot that she cared enough about us to invite us over without fussing about details. It was one of the most wonderful moments I have had here in Chickasha. It seems silly but, so many people including me never show you their house without plenty of warning. Although, we are truthful in our want to enjoy and be enjoyable, there are parts of ourselves that we feel we need to hide. Messy houses, untidy places that we feel we can't expose. Now her house clean and welcoming, but it was lived in, so I felt completely comfortable to be me in her house and with her family. The experience was beautiful. I don't know how i stumbled on to her blog, but I was amazed when I did find it. It was just what I needed. I was a new blogger and I looked to her site as a guidebook to blogging. Her spirit is uplifting and her blogs are thought provoking and wonderfully written. I have also met many other wonderful Christian bloggers through her blog; that draw me closer to God. Please check out her blog Sorta Crunchy if you can, you won't be disappointed. I am very thankful for her.
Secondly, God has been teaching me to serve only for Him. When I started going to Celebrate Recovery at the wonderful Baptist Church here in Chickasha; I was being told by God to go a whole year without making commitments to serve in the church. This was very hard for me to do, because I had used service in the church to fill up my calendar, fill my need to be needed, and to build my self esteem. All of these things should have been lead by God, but instead I was doing them for my own selfish reasons. Celebrate Recovery helped me see why and when I was doing this, but God told me that I needed to break the habit. Yes you can get addicted to serving. Or more point in fact people. I needed them as much as they needed me and therefore I was not being God's hands and feet. I was relying on my own power, although I did it with the best intentions. Many people have been very influential in this aspect of my growing process. Some of them are:
Cindy is (how do I say it) the most wonderful bundle of positive energy I have ever met. She has been a mentor, a friend and a provider for me this year. She is always so positive, even when times are tough. God has used her to help me get through the tough moments and help me move past my conflicts with being dependent on people. She is very wise and she guided me through writing and sharing my testimony for the first time. For this I will be eternally grateful. She is helping me to enjoy life more. It is easy for me to write about adventures but doing them is not as simple. Being in Cindy's presence is always an adventure. I will forever be grateful for her.
Jennifer is a wonderful soul and my neighbor. It was a couple of months before I got the nerves to talk to her. Meeting new neighbors has always been hard for me, since I moved a lot growing up. Once I did I was kicking myself for waiting so long. We are kindred spirits. We get each other. We have a lot in common and are both moms, Christians and wives of truck drivers. When we talk together we never want to end the conversation. God lead me to her because I needed a friend that I could see almost everyday. He knows my fears and being able to talk to someone, who isn't my husband, allows me to feel better. She also needed me to watch her daughter after school and on days when school is out. I enjoy having an older child around and Joslyn gets the interaction she needs too. I am learning so much from being in their lives and I enjoy their company very much.
Thirdly, God is teaching me that I don't have to have money to have fun or reach others for him. He has given me many ideas on how I can use what I have. I have learned so much about money in this phase of my life and I know that I am not done growing on this issue. I have talked before about our lessons through Financial Peace but I don't think I said that it would have been possible without my friend Heather.
Heather. How do I describe her? Joyous, amazing, successful, loving, generous, etc... The list could go on and on. When she joined my CR group I had no idea how influential she would be in my life. John and I started talking seriously about going to FPU but had no idea how we were going to afford the 100 enrollment fee. We figured that we would be able to raise the money some how. Well, after mentioning that in CR one night, Heather walked up to me and said that she wanted to sponsor us. She didn't even know me that well and definately didn't know John. Well, I was floored! I knew that she was obeying God by doing this. Well of course I told her that we would accept only if she would hold me accountable for going. She did and we have been great friends and accountability partners ever since. I love her dearly and feel so lucky to get to be a part of her life.
Sharon. Sharon is a woman in my Sunday School class that I was intrigued about right away. I noticed her humble attitude and serving heart right away. It took me awhile to get to talk to her because she was always surrounded by people who she was serving. Since the moment Megan had invited us to her house on a whim, I had wanted to do that for someone else. I knew that Sharon was that person. When I invited her she accepted and I was thrilled. As we ate our sausage and french fries (glamorous isn't it) , we got to talk and get to know each other. We were like two peas in a pod. Feeling the same way about so many things. We talked about our enjoyment of playing games and how it invokes wonderful feelings for both of us. A couple of months later we had our first Friday night game night. I made tons of food and expected many people but it ended up just being my sister, Sharon and I. We had so much fun. We have had many other Friday night game nights and it has always been just the two of us, well 3 Joslyn included. I have loved every one of them, getting to know this kindred spirit a little better.
There are so many people that have been influential in my life and I can't name them all. But these people have been valuable since I moved to Chickasha. I had left so many of my friends behind in the city that I felt abandoned. I pleaded with God to bring people in my life that would help me during this time of struggle.
I don't like asking people for help but God has shown me that I am not doing his will if I don't trust Him in providing for me through His people. The desires I had to help others wasn't wrong it just had to be God lead, then it could work the way it was supposed to. And it had to go both ways. I had to be humble enough to ask for help as much as I liked helping others. These people have allowed me to be who I really am and loved me for it. I couldn't be luckier.
As we look forward to a future move and the exciting new plan that God has for our lives, I can't help but be nostalgic as I look at who we are leaving behind. I will miss each of them so much! Thank you God for the people you have put in my life. May our friendships always be healthy and pleasing to you Lord. May we grow together, lifting each other up in times of need and drawing each other to your will.
First I have grown many steps in my quest to enjoy "quiet time". I am not referring to quiet moments, which are only possible in this house if the toddler and all the dogs are sleeping. I am referring to being alone. You see, one of my constant struggles as a codependent is being alone. My inner being detests alone time. The devil knows this and uses every opportunity to bring me down, tell me lies and drudge up the past. But luckily God has used certain wonderful people in Chickasha to help me through these struggles and to teach me how to use this time to grow closer to God and learn more about myself.
Megan. She is a fellow blogger and Stay at home mom. I don't think she knows how much she has enriched my life. When I was searching for friends she befriended me at church and always had a friendly smile to offer. She is one of those people that I want to flock to because her heart for God is so available. Megan had invited us for lunch one day after church, no notice just an invite and I was and am still very grateful for that. It meant a lot that she cared enough about us to invite us over without fussing about details. It was one of the most wonderful moments I have had here in Chickasha. It seems silly but, so many people including me never show you their house without plenty of warning. Although, we are truthful in our want to enjoy and be enjoyable, there are parts of ourselves that we feel we need to hide. Messy houses, untidy places that we feel we can't expose. Now her house clean and welcoming, but it was lived in, so I felt completely comfortable to be me in her house and with her family. The experience was beautiful. I don't know how i stumbled on to her blog, but I was amazed when I did find it. It was just what I needed. I was a new blogger and I looked to her site as a guidebook to blogging. Her spirit is uplifting and her blogs are thought provoking and wonderfully written. I have also met many other wonderful Christian bloggers through her blog; that draw me closer to God. Please check out her blog Sorta Crunchy if you can, you won't be disappointed. I am very thankful for her.
Secondly, God has been teaching me to serve only for Him. When I started going to Celebrate Recovery at the wonderful Baptist Church here in Chickasha; I was being told by God to go a whole year without making commitments to serve in the church. This was very hard for me to do, because I had used service in the church to fill up my calendar, fill my need to be needed, and to build my self esteem. All of these things should have been lead by God, but instead I was doing them for my own selfish reasons. Celebrate Recovery helped me see why and when I was doing this, but God told me that I needed to break the habit. Yes you can get addicted to serving. Or more point in fact people. I needed them as much as they needed me and therefore I was not being God's hands and feet. I was relying on my own power, although I did it with the best intentions. Many people have been very influential in this aspect of my growing process. Some of them are:
Cindy is (how do I say it) the most wonderful bundle of positive energy I have ever met. She has been a mentor, a friend and a provider for me this year. She is always so positive, even when times are tough. God has used her to help me get through the tough moments and help me move past my conflicts with being dependent on people. She is very wise and she guided me through writing and sharing my testimony for the first time. For this I will be eternally grateful. She is helping me to enjoy life more. It is easy for me to write about adventures but doing them is not as simple. Being in Cindy's presence is always an adventure. I will forever be grateful for her.
Jennifer is a wonderful soul and my neighbor. It was a couple of months before I got the nerves to talk to her. Meeting new neighbors has always been hard for me, since I moved a lot growing up. Once I did I was kicking myself for waiting so long. We are kindred spirits. We get each other. We have a lot in common and are both moms, Christians and wives of truck drivers. When we talk together we never want to end the conversation. God lead me to her because I needed a friend that I could see almost everyday. He knows my fears and being able to talk to someone, who isn't my husband, allows me to feel better. She also needed me to watch her daughter after school and on days when school is out. I enjoy having an older child around and Joslyn gets the interaction she needs too. I am learning so much from being in their lives and I enjoy their company very much.
Thirdly, God is teaching me that I don't have to have money to have fun or reach others for him. He has given me many ideas on how I can use what I have. I have learned so much about money in this phase of my life and I know that I am not done growing on this issue. I have talked before about our lessons through Financial Peace but I don't think I said that it would have been possible without my friend Heather.
Heather. How do I describe her? Joyous, amazing, successful, loving, generous, etc... The list could go on and on. When she joined my CR group I had no idea how influential she would be in my life. John and I started talking seriously about going to FPU but had no idea how we were going to afford the 100 enrollment fee. We figured that we would be able to raise the money some how. Well, after mentioning that in CR one night, Heather walked up to me and said that she wanted to sponsor us. She didn't even know me that well and definately didn't know John. Well, I was floored! I knew that she was obeying God by doing this. Well of course I told her that we would accept only if she would hold me accountable for going. She did and we have been great friends and accountability partners ever since. I love her dearly and feel so lucky to get to be a part of her life.
Sharon. Sharon is a woman in my Sunday School class that I was intrigued about right away. I noticed her humble attitude and serving heart right away. It took me awhile to get to talk to her because she was always surrounded by people who she was serving. Since the moment Megan had invited us to her house on a whim, I had wanted to do that for someone else. I knew that Sharon was that person. When I invited her she accepted and I was thrilled. As we ate our sausage and french fries (glamorous isn't it) , we got to talk and get to know each other. We were like two peas in a pod. Feeling the same way about so many things. We talked about our enjoyment of playing games and how it invokes wonderful feelings for both of us. A couple of months later we had our first Friday night game night. I made tons of food and expected many people but it ended up just being my sister, Sharon and I. We had so much fun. We have had many other Friday night game nights and it has always been just the two of us, well 3 Joslyn included. I have loved every one of them, getting to know this kindred spirit a little better.
There are so many people that have been influential in my life and I can't name them all. But these people have been valuable since I moved to Chickasha. I had left so many of my friends behind in the city that I felt abandoned. I pleaded with God to bring people in my life that would help me during this time of struggle.
I don't like asking people for help but God has shown me that I am not doing his will if I don't trust Him in providing for me through His people. The desires I had to help others wasn't wrong it just had to be God lead, then it could work the way it was supposed to. And it had to go both ways. I had to be humble enough to ask for help as much as I liked helping others. These people have allowed me to be who I really am and loved me for it. I couldn't be luckier.
As we look forward to a future move and the exciting new plan that God has for our lives, I can't help but be nostalgic as I look at who we are leaving behind. I will miss each of them so much! Thank you God for the people you have put in my life. May our friendships always be healthy and pleasing to you Lord. May we grow together, lifting each other up in times of need and drawing each other to your will.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)