My Big Life Change!

Picture taken by Abby Austin of 1000 Miles on my own two feet.



MY GOALS FOR LIFE!

To transform my life, with God's help of course, one step at a time.

1. Get healthy & honor God with my body

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter


2.Become at least 50% sustainable with emphasis on doing our part to take care of God's planet.


3. Live life as an adventure, experiencing new places, things & people.
18 out of 150 bucket list goals accomplished


4. Become debt free & build security for my family, so we can then bless others financially also.

5. Continue to grow closer to God, building My family's faith & sharing the Gospel with those we meet, by using the talents and gifts God has provided us.

6.Continue to make money by creating and sharing my thoughts and beliefs through artistic expression: all the while hoping that my art will impact others. "Holly Kennedy

: All I know is, if you don't figure out this something, you'll just stay ordinary, and it doesn't matter if it's a work of art, or a taco, or a pair of socks! Just create something... new, and there it is, and it's you, out in the world, outside of you, and you can look at it, or hear it, or read it, or feel it... and you know a little more about... you. A little bit more than anyone else does... Does that make any sense at all?" Quote from PS I LOVE YOU

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Crying in the car

I had a crying in the car moment this week. Fresh off the heels of my "I can handle these changes post", I get the news that I have gestational diabetes. I drive home in shock, tears streaming down my face. Unabashedly, red, splotchy faced crying. Joslyn in the back wondering what happened to mommy. And I drive, and they keep coming. At home I fall into my hubby's arms and cry some more.

It's moments like these I treasure in Celebrate Recovery. The moment someone shares in small group, with tears streaming down their face, "I can't do this." And we cry with them. Women sharing in each other's pain. But the great thing is that by the end of the group, most of them realize that is it. WE can't do this. We can't handle these pressures. We can't handle the grief. BUT GOD CAN! I think He on purposely gives us these moments to remind us who can handle these moments. It takes problem after problem piling up for me to finally get it and fall to my knees. Everything in this world says YOU CAN DO THIS. You need to handle this to be right. To look good to those around you. To be accepted and loved. You have to be strong. NO! I can't. I can't be strong. I shouldn't be strong. I should be weak. Because in my weakness He is strong. He shines through. He is waiting for me to hand over the problem. To include Him in the equation. So I do not have any shame for crying in the car. I do not have shame saying I can't handle it. Because thankfully I have a father that will take care of it for me. He will make me strong. He will remind me what to do. He will hold me in those moments and plan the way. Thank you Lord for crying in the car moments.

13 comments:

  1. hang in there! my 2 best girlfriends had gestational diabetes with one of their pregnancies and they and the babies are now happy and healthy. oh yes...changes changes...lifes ups and downs...good luck!! I say over and over when I get stressed, "Jesus, i trust in you. Jesus, i trust in you."

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    1. I do trust in Him! I do rust in Him. repeat repeat!!!

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  2. Gestational Diabetes may seem tough, but everything will work out.

    You know how to reach me if you need any tips or advice. I've got this diabetes thing (including while pregnant) down! (I hope I didn't just jinx myself!)

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    1. You didn't jinx yourself! I knocked on wood for you.

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  3. Thank you for sharing sweet friend. I needed that reminder this morning.

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    1. CR has taught us to be good criers, hasn't it!

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  4. i am sorry brownie--i know it must be hard---i will pray especially about this---take good care <3

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  5. It's so cleansing to cry............a lot!! I've done it. Heading towards the end of my ordeal I wonder now, "What was I so upset about?" My favorite saying is "THis too shall pass". (isn't that a scripture?) I'm praying for you, my dear. God knows. Love you.

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    1. So proud of you for working through your pain, I aspire to be you!!

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  6. Brownie, you're completely right! We don't have to handle this alone! I have you in my prayers. I admire your strength. I love you!

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