Baby things and baby feelings.

It is still so surreal to me that we are having another baby. But slowly the pictures come into my head of holding a baby, taking Joslyn and her little bro/sis to the park. All sorts of little images that I never thought I would be having pop into my head. Poor John I am so emotional I am able to snap at him in 1.5 seconds as where before I normally had a cool head. This weekend we were talking about all the things we were going to have to by for another baby. Because of our big move into a tiny apartment, we got rid of as much as possible. I am big into recycling and try to reuse things often so that we are not wasteful, so it is heartbreaking to think we need everything over again.

Oh how I love hand-me-downs! We have been so fortunate to have friends that are willing to hand down clothes that their kids wear. So we always do the same. I think it is such a blessing to be able to give something away to someone that really needs it. A lot of our clothes and baby items went to the local crisis pregnancy center when we lived in Chickasha. I was picky about who I gave to because I wanted the people who really needed it, to be able to get it and not have to pay for it. Hannah's Heart in Chickasha was started by a lady who wanted to make a difference for new mothers that were in need. So she opened a closet in Chickasha, where moms could get things like clothes, baby food, formula and diapers for free. They ran on mostly donations and we loved to donate items to them. I also was able to get items sometimes when Joslyn was running low on clothes. The crisis prgenancy centers here in the city take donations of clothes and supplies. I used to get cans of formula as samples and took the ones we didn't use to the center.

As a Christian it is really easy for me to give help but not as easy to ask for help. The Bible talks a lot about being humble. But the world views humility as weakness. Just look at the people who stand on the corner. In the worlds eyes they are con men and women, choosing that road. But as Christians God asks us to love our neighbors as ourselves, not as lesser people. And He makes no stipulations one only helping people if we feel that they deserve it. So why is it so easy to fall into Satan's trap and become prideful? Because we don't want the World to view us as lazy or unworthy. I would rather look unworthy to a world that will judge me wrongly either way then to be disobedient to God who has loved me unconditionally. In James 1: 9-10 it says "The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower." God is saying that if we take pride in our money or posessions we will waste away when our wealth does. Money is so feeting these days. Security in houses and cars and stocks can all be destroyed in a day. Our security is only secure in the one who built the World, not in the things that are on it. People, money and economy will let you down, but the Lord lifts you up.

It was selfish of me to worry about this baby. Trusting in our own abilities to provide for another mouth to feed, will only let me down. But trusting in God? Well gave me this blessing, He is forming this baby muscle by muscle. So He will provide for this baby. So, when John was talking about looking for stuff we needed to buy I decided to take a risk and ask if anyone had anything we could use. We are spenders. We love to spend and then deal with the consiquences later. But I really want to be humble and be wise with our money. I know that if we are wise with our money then the Lord will bless what we do have. We found something on Craigslist and it would have been a good deal, but that 75 dollars would be something we need later. saving now and spending later that is what I am really trying to learn. So I posted our need on facebook and what do you know. Someone has a bassinet and a swing they are wanting to get rid of. Hallelujah. God will provide all of our needs. If I could just learn this about food, I would be doing really good. So we are still in need of many things and we are just beginning to collect the items that we will need for Baby J2, but I have no doubt that God will provide all that we need. He sends so many great people our way for us to give and take what is needed. Sharing our thoughts and our hearts and our stuff, really is doing God's will.
On another note, I have felt baby move. It is so cool to not have to wait to feel baby for months like last time. Being out of my first trimester already is making this momma very happy! The nausea is starting to calm down and now that I am not dealing with a really bad sinus infection I am much happier. I hope that this week finds you all good and happy. I still pray for you all!