To Emulate or Not to Emulate

em·u·late

   [v. em-yuh-leyt; adj. em-yuh-lit]  Show IPAverb, -lat·ed, -lat·ing, adjective

verb (used with object)

1.

to try to equal or excel; imitate with effort to equal or surpass: to emulate one's father as a concert violinist (dictionary.com)

I always thought emulate meant copy but when I read the full description I was surprised at the surpass part. Secretly we all want to be better. Better at maintaining our work, better at being a mom, better than our neighbor. Nah, none of us want to better than another person. Right? Well I don't know about you but I fight that urge all the time. 

Common codependent behavior, strive for excellence! Don't let anything keep you from doing your best. Well, I would love to say that I always do my best, but that would be a flat out lie. Nobody can do their best all of the time? I would even risk saying that most people don't even do their best most of the time. 

We tell our kids to do their best but do we prepare them for failure too. If we constantly strive for excellence and then don't get it, what happens? Do you get disappointed? Do you get angry? Do you work harder? 

Unrealistic expectations is a word I hear a lot in Celebrate Recovery. It isn't until I examined my life that I realized I had some unrealistic expectations of people. I expected my husband to shoulder the weight of my issues and my baggage. I didn't even know that I was doing it.  I expected my mom to be able to be there for me anytime I wanted, when my dad left. I didn't consider the toll it took on her and how much she did sacrifice. I realized that I was setting myself up for failure if I strive for excellence in everything and of everyone. 

When someone disappoints us we need to see where we went wrong too. Were we expecting too much out of them? Were we holding that prize a little too high so that it was impossible for them to reach it? I used to do this to a coworker. I didn't mean to always, but she was so hard for me to love. We differed on so much, but what really bothered me about her was what we did the same. Everything was a competition. Who could do their work better. Who had the better car. Who looked better. Who helped others better. What a contradiction to what Christ had done for us. But, I didn't realize why we fought each other. I think I saw things in her that she did that I didn't like and deep down I knew I struggled with the same thing. Her life pointed out my failures on an hourly basis. But instead of working through them I pretended that her faults were the plank and I only had sawdust if any. What a shame! I took a potential friend and child of God and turned them into an enemy. We emulated each other to the breaking point.  

One of my big fears about homeschooling is that I will set unrealistic expectations on Joslyn and not see how I am setting her up to fail. So to combat that I am praying now for guidance and compassion. Forgiveness and boldness. She is very strong willed as a toddler and we struggle through many things right now. From brushing her hair to nap time, even the simplest things can become a battle if I let them. So I try and remember to pick my battles. Is it really important to fight with her about this? If I let her have her way is it going to be dangerous or damaging to her or what we are trying to accomplish? Most importantly, I want to remember that in failing their are lessons too. Like forgiveness, and asking for help, and compassion, and helping others because you have been there too! That is what God designed our lives to be, to help each other. That is why He lets us go through the storm instead of removing it.  

Emulating isn't always bad. It is impossible for us to not copy each other, in my opinion. Sometimes we take someones idea and make it our own or make it better. That is how most things were invented. Joslyn emulates me all the time and every time she does she is learning. Learning word sounds and numbers and emotions and reactions. For example she has learned the word NOW because mommy says pick up your cup Joslyn and when she doesn't do as told, Mommy usually adds the word now with a firm voice. Joslyn will say to me "Cracker! Now! It is funny how you don't even realize the words you say until your toddler says them. After all I picked up my talking habits from emulating those around me. And they emulated someone else. 

I am trying to learn the best home school techniques by emulating the home school mothers I know that do it well. I have gotten on a home school website and look for ideas and tools and tricks of the trade. I follow advise and give advise too. God made us each unique with different situations and different ideas. If we put our ideas together, we can come up with the best ideas. But our ideas won't work for everyone and we have to give credit where credit is due. I try and remember that the idea is no more important than the person. If it is someone's idea I ask and then if they say no, then move on to something else. God will work on their heart and He will work on you too. These are some things that I am learning everyday!

Mary Poppins

Since I plan on home schooling, I am coming up with a list of books that I think Joslyn should read in school. And because I want her to be able to gain knowledge and enjoy reading; she will be required to write a report on most of the required books. Now obviously, there will be books that she will read for fun, but the major classics and some of the most popular books will be on that list. Since I am not a dictator, I will be reading these books first to determine what questions I should ask and if the books are appropriate. A lot of these books I will have her read and then we will watch the movie to determine the differences. I have noticed that many movies that I love are based on books and usually I like the book better. The first book I have chosen is Mary Poppins.

Unlike most of the books that I have read that were turned into movies, I do not like the book of Mary Poppins more than the movie. I believe that the book would have been a totally different experience if I had never seen the movie. The Mary Poppins in the book is so very different. She is 100% more vain then in the movie and it is overwhelming in the book. Also, she is so rude in her responses to the children that it is almost cruel. This destroyed the beautiful, sweet Mary Poppins that I grew to love in the movie. Some of the other characters are very different also and between the first two books that I have read so far, there are many more adventures that show a whole different world in Mary Poppins. I did enjoy the book enough to finish the series. But I almost don't want Joslyn to see the movie until she had read the books.
Now I have some questions for my readers. I need advise on how to have Joslyn do book reports. What questions should I ask that will provoke thought and breakdown of books. Do you guys have any books that you think should be on the lists? And any other tips on helping Joslyn retain important info from books? Thanks guys! Happy Reading! I will keep you updated on the books as I read them.

Home school

So I have been on a quest lately to write down all of the books and movies and things that I want Joslyn to read, watch and do in home school. I have to say that I am felling very inspired about this. I love making list. I enjoy making a grocery list more than going to the grocery store. But when my list is made, and I get everything on that list, and I get home, and put up the groceries, then get to delete the list; Life is grand. My hope is that my list will include everything that she needs to learn and somehow year by year we accomplish and fulfill everything on that list and more, then when she is graduated and is the smartest most brilliant beautifully well-rounded person in the world; I can cross of the list and retire peacefully to blissfuldom. OK! I know WAKE UP Teresa!!!!!

Obviously life doesn't work that way. But a list I am making. And my true goal is that by the time that it is time for her to be home schooled; that I will have come up with a efficient and reasonably fun way for her to learn and  enjoy the schooling process. My list is just a jumping off point. I do have some great friends that are home schoolers and I hope to utilize their knowledge. I also want her to learn so much more than she will in school. Yes math, English, history and science are important, but so is sewing, art, cooking, finances, gardening, PE and music. Schools can't do it all and the way that the economy is going, music, home economics, balancing a checkbook, and art are on their way out. Home EC was an important class in our parents generation and in my generation it was an elective. Now most schools don't have it as an option. Money for classes such as music and art are dwindling and the education system is having to decide on whether or not to keep them. Resume writing should be an important class, so should balancing a checkbook; but most students don't know how to do either when they graduate. No wonder our economy is declining, we aren't teaching our children how to get jobs or raise children, two things they might need to know how to do, but by golly they will know geometry and history. Now, please believe me. I don't hate public school. I love it and there are so many things that are advantages of public schools. I am not downing people who use it. I just can't see how it will work for Joslyn. I don't remember half of what I learned in school. I want her to learn so much and retain it. Most of the classes that I went to weren't designed for hands-on learners. I couldn't learn history well, because it was mostly visual learning. memorizing and reciting dates and events. There was one teacher in high school and one teacher in college that taught history fun and in a way that I could learn it. My biggest challenge will be to learn how Joslyn learns and teach her that way. I believe that you can have a good balance.
I am most excited about science. There are so many ways you can learn science by smelling, touching, seeing, hearing and feeling. I plan on taking her to farms and have her learn gardening by people who actually can get more to grow than weeds (me). Learn about the animals from people who are around them. Build rockets and blast off volcanos. Grow crystals and put as much under a microscope as we can. Have a telescope and actually find constellations instead of reading about them.
Music is dear to my heart. I loved choir in school and was good at singing. But I never retained the knowledge of Reading music. So when I got into college, I had trouble keeping up with my talent because I spent hours playing the notes on a piano to practice. I survived mostly by being good at hearing the songs and remembering them. But that wasn't all I needed to know. Learning music and scales will be more important to me at first with Joslyn then we can go on to finding talent.
Cooking, is something that I think that every student should know how to do. Because of my background I was cooking for my family at a young age. But no one taught me about vegetables and fish and  how to cook these things. I could make hot dogs and hamburger helper.  I want Joslyn to be able to cook for herself and her friends in college and not just rely on fast food, because she doesn't know any better. Teaching kids to cook gives them the chance to be healthy. If they rely on only stuff that others cook for them, they have no choice but to become what they eat. But if they learn which foods are good for them and how to cook them to make them tasty they have the ability to choose healthy vs fattening. Teaching kids the properties of salt and when to add it instead of handing them a plate of salted french fries, gives them the opportunity to choose. It's not wrong to eat these things. I feed Joslyn hot dogs and french fries, but I want her to have the choices I didn't as a kid to pick fresh fruit over ice cream. I want her to love food even healthy food. I am trying to learn this now so that I can teach her.

I could go on and on about the stuff I want her to learn but these are just a few of the things on my list.