Emotional Vampires

With all the buzz about the Twilight series and all the other vampire movies out right now, I think this is the perfect opportunity to have this disscussion. Do you know any vampires? No, I don't mean georgeous men who dazzle in the sunlight and drink blood. I also don't mean fairytales either. I mean people who suck the life out of you. Emotional Vampires. I see them all the time. I seem to be very attractive to vampires. I think it is because I am a codependent. I must send out a signal that says, latch on to this one, she doesn't know how to say no.

I have had a few emotional vampires in my life and they all look the same to me. Negitive, clingy, want advise but don't take it, have an excuse for everything, and a general feel sorry for me attitude. Well, being a codependent, it was hard for me to see that these people weren't being helped by my relationship. In fact instead of helping them I was hurting myself by being in the relationship. I used to think that this was okay, but then I had Matthew 22:39 reread to me. Part of it says love your neighbor as yourself. Not above yourself. This is the key for people like this. They don't love themselves and if I can't love them as myself, then it isn't healthy. This does not give me a reason to hate them and treat them badly. Christ did command us to love even our enemies, but love doesn't always mean right there beside them. In fact in my life, I have to watch my boundaries very carefully with these people. If I don't, I end up hurting them and me. I did this once with a girl I knew. I let her in too close and let her control the relationship. And by the time I figured out that this relationship was damaging to me, there was no easy way to end it. We both got hurt from it. I know though that God is still working in that relationship and there is no relationship too damaged that God cannot heal. But, we can stand in the way of His working in someone when we are trying to "help them" and know deep down in our hearts that it is not what we should be doing. So if you are in a relationship like this, end it. It will hurt initially but God will heal us. If you don't know if this relationship is bad for you then ask a friend that you trust. Look at your heart, does it hurt? Talk with God and wait for an answer, and finally see if you are the one damaging the relationship. Is it onesided? Are you needing more from someone then what they can give? That is probably because you are looking in the wrong place. Only God can fill those holes that we want others to fill sometimes. Don't let an emotional vampire control your life. You cannot hold up someone else for so long. If you are weak and burdened run to God he will carry you through. Ask God to heal the hurts and to heal that person, but also ask God for guidence on when to intervene and when to say no.