Canasta!

Friday was my 32nd birthday! Man I feel old! As we are in the middle of Financial Peace University, we didn't have much money in the budget to celebrate my birthday. So for my gift I wanted a game night. I cleaned all day and my sister and nephew arrived. Deb brought snack food and  a german chocolate cake( My favorite cake). My friend Sharon arrived with the canasta tools and after snacking on my famous guacamole and toasted ravioli, yum, we set down to business. My friend Sharon earned Canasta from her family and has played many times. So she set at the hard task of teaching me and my sis the game. I can tell you it was hard to understand at first, but after a few hands I fell in love with it. I was absolutely no good at the game because you have to think ahead and plan out your moves, but I improved a little every hand. I wish I could tell you how to play but I can't begin to explain that. So I will just tell you that you will have to come play with us and learn yourself. If you like card games you will love this. I have absolutely no idea why this game went out of style.  

Its a dog's life!

Oh, somedays I wanna throw in the towel. But, I don't have any clean ones left. A normal morning in my household starts as my husband leaves for work and my two foster dogs come in from outside, my nose clenched up as I smell Jazzmine who obviously has been rolling around in poo and eating dead things. So after feeding Joslyn a quick breakfast I grab Jazz and head to the tub. I hoist her in, nearly pulling out my back and turn the shower on. While holding her with brute force one handed, I scrub her down with shampoo. I make sure to keep calling Joslyn's name the whole time, praying she isn't getting into the trash or eating the dog food again, or dumping the dog's water bowl again. After I rinse her off and dry her off I let her go and get Joslyn out of the dog food. Jazzmine then runs to the couch and proceeds to rub every stray wet hair on my couch. I yell at her to get off the couch and then yell at Piper to put down what used to be one of Joslyn's board books and is now shredded wet slobbery cardboard. I pick up the pieces of the chicken book. Good bye chicken book, enjoy the trash! turn around and pull Joslyn out of the dog food again. Things settle down for an hour and then I look over and someone has left a poopy present in my livingroom. So out go the dogs and out comes the carpet cleaner. I am deperately trying to clean up the mess before Joslyn toddles into it. I throw away the mess and call the dogs back into the house and in comes Piper and Jazzmine who have found mud on this beautiful dry day. So I decide to put them in their crate to dry off a little and again pull Joslyn out of the dog food. I feel bad that I am sticking them in their crate without getting a chance to eat and drink, so I put a small bowl of water and food in there. About every five minutes I am going back to the crate to calm down fighting dogs. Piper is mad that Jazz is eating her food and Jazz is protecting her bone. Joslyn has found a new place to get dog food, by sticking her hand through the bars. Once dry the dogs come back out of their crates and again someone leaves a poopy present. Back outside go the dogs and back out comes the cleaner. Later, during naptime my red cocker starts shaking her head a lot. That is my cue that it is ear cleaning time. So in she goes to the bathtub, she is much lighter, and I proceed to clean her ears. I very messy procedure, where I get very wet and dirty. After the ear cleaning she runs around with her head to the ground, rubbing off the clean smell I just applied and leaving a fresh scent of wet dog on my furniture and carpet. So if I am lucky I then get a shower before Princess wakes up and maybe I get to do a load of dishes or laundry. The rest of the day is spent chasing my daughter around, making sure her needs are met and that she doesn't swallow something she shouldn't. Along with taking toys away from Piper and Jazz and throwing the ball for red dog and giving ear scratches to all. Piper comes in from outside smelling worse than Jazzmine did this morning and I absolutely have to give her a bath. I decide not to let them out again till nightfall, and once Joslyn went to bed I let them out and leave the door open so I can keep an eye on them. I finish the dishes start the laundry and make me small dinner as I never have time to eat with my daughter. When Joslyn gets a bath, I have to put up all valuables that I don't want eaten while they are unsupervised, and I usually get to clean up the trash that has been pulled out of the trash can. 

So, why am I telling you this? Do I love owning and caring for foster dogs? Sometimes, but most days are a pain. I am not the best dog trainer, but we take it one step at a time. I may not love the work, but I do love the dogs. Like human foster parents, our foster children have sorted past and have been left with the scars of being unwanted. Sometimes the scars are on the outside, where they have been beaten and abused or neglected. And some are on the inside where they are dealing with being abandoned, hurt, and feelings of untrust. We speak for those that can't speak for themselves. Some dogs were unwanted puppies from a mother who had babies and the owners didn't want the responsibility of more mouths to feed. Some animals had to live in hostile environments where the people took out there anger on them. Some were loved for awhile but the families situation changed and the animal got forgotten or left behind. Jazzmine and her brother, had a family once. We know this because they were patiently waiting buy the road where they were abandonded and left to starve for weeks before we found them. We don't know Piper's full story but we do know that the foster person that was taking care of her had so many other unwanted dogs and cats that Piper was boarded most of her life. Stuck in a kennel almost all day. Needless to say she doesn't like being in her crate anymore.

So what can we do? We keep moving forward. Slowly working with our foster dogs and the wonderful organization Best Friends of Pets. To make sure that these animals always have a loving home and that we do our best to inform everyone we can about their responsibility. Get your pets spade and nuetered, please. Don't let more animals die in shelters. I used to breed my cocker spaniels and I loved every minute of it. But I was ignorant to the thousands of animals that are needing a home already. I am not gonna harp on breeders, but please if you have a heart for animals check petfinder.com and see if there is an animal out there that is already perfect for your home. Or go to rescueink.com and see if you can donate to the wonderful cause of stopping animal abuse and putting the abusers behind bars. Together as a community we can put and end to this. Just like our children, we have to stand up and stop the abuse and the violence. God commanded Adam to take care of the animals, and now it is our turn. Wouldn't it be wonderful if animal shelters didn't have any animals in them. I think it would be great if breeders had to get a licence to breed and were required to take responsibility for all of their pets. That animal abusers would get strict punishment and each animal had a loving home. I wish it were true!

So no my days aren't easy, but I will not stop giving baths and taking toys away and cleaning up poop until I can do it no more. My house will continue to smell of wet dog (thank God for Fabreeze) and my furniture will always be shabby and chewed on. I am an animal lover. I am a dog foster mom! Love me as I am.

Well I'm off, Piper just peed in the hallway! Dang it!

Teresa

Holiday traditions!

Isn't Christmas wonderful? When I think about Christmas as a whole, my body shivers with delight. But, when I see people around me around Christmas time, I am very saddened. Hustle and bustle = frowning, lines, traffic, and kids screaming they want, want, want. For the first time in my life, I am looking at Christmas in a totally new way. Joslyn, my soon to be one year old, is technically having her second Christmas this year, although she was 4 days old for her first one. And as my husband and I look at our budget, sadly, we are perplexxed on what we should do for Christmas. For the first time in a long time, none of my family will be coming over for Christmas day. Sure, we are having CHristmas with our families on other days, but it leaves Christmas Day completely open. So what do we do? Do we start a new tradition? Do we find a place to visit? Or do we maybe use this opportunity to serve God? After all isn't that what Christmas is about?

When I think of Christmas's past, the food, the presents, and the holiday hangovers, I can't believe that was my life. Before, John and I would drop a load of money on Christmas presents, that were barely remembered. Heck I don't even remember what we bought, but I remember that the surprise reaction we were hoping for never seemed to be as good as we imagined. The food hangovers that we were left with made us sleepy and grouchy. When everyone would go home, or we would go home we were tired and left with this sense of wanting. Well that is not how I want Joslyn to experience Christmas. What are the things I want her to feel? Excitement, love, peace, joy, happiness, and full of Christ. Well I know that those aren't things I can order on E-bay, so how do I give those gifts to my daughter. I am not 100 percent sure, but I do know that I have a few ideas. For starters I want to share with you somethings my friends are doing that I know are on that track.

I have had the wonderful opportunity to get to know some of the wonderful people of Oklahoma. And the one thing I can tell you is that they are giving people. If I observe these people carefully I can see so much of Christ in their hearts. Some of them and some of my other "family" members are doing some wonderful things this Christmas season that I want to share.

1. Put Christ back into Christmas. My new friend Megan is doing a Jesse Tree this year, to teach her kids about Christ and what Christmas is all about.
2. Invite someone new. We got invited to a Christmas party from some people we barely know. I was super excited to get an invite from them. The idea of spending Christmas with new friends intrigues me. I have no idea how it would turn out, but it seems like such an adventure. Super excited!
3. Give it away. My brother and his wonderful wife have bought a goat for a family across the world for Christmas. They are thinking globally. What better gift could you give then the gift of survival! This goat/ sheep (can't remember the exact animal), is going to provide revenue, food and so much more for a family that doesn't know what it is like to stuff themselves silly for Christmas. They just need to survive.
4. Do domething different. I have met families that serve the homeless on the holidays, have a scavenger hunt, play football, go to church, see a movie, go caroling and so much more. If you are stuck in a holiday rut, try some of these ideas, they are sure to liven up things.
5. For my side of the family, we are just getting some small gifts for the children and we are trying to come up with ways to serve each other for Christmas presents. Like my sister is going to give my dogs a haircut and I am going to babysit my nephew a couple of times. I have asked my husband for things like watch a girlie movie with me and play games with the family, which are things I love to do and I hope to find some things he likes to do also. Be Creative with your Christmas, when money is in short supply. After all, I really think those gifts will last longer.

So what will we be doing for Christmas? Stay tuned.... but I hope that it is full of God's love and joy, peace, happiness, .... you get the idea!
Merry Christmas!!!

things that you may not know about me!!!

Okay this is a totally fun blog, which means no moral lesson today. Since I have a whole bunch of new buddies on facebook and blogger, I am gonna post some fun facts about me that you may not know. Please comment with some fun facts of your own. Or post the numbers that you did not know.

1. I have piloted a Piper Airplane.
2. I have had a bear encounter
3. I love tacos and taco salad
4. I make great/legendary guacamole
5. I was "barren" for 8+ years before being blessed with my daughter Joslyn
6. I am terrified of spiders and used to catch them in glasses and pour rubbing alcohol on them to watch them die.
7. I am a lover of musicals!
8. I played Grace Ferral in my high school play ANNIE
9. When I am really mad or upset I will sing really loud with headphones on.
10. I fell out of a tree when I was eleven and went to the hospital with a cracked tailbone.
11. I have one sister and one brother, one half sister that I do not know and a BIG Sister from BB/BS.
12. My dad was in the Airforce
13. I am a pretty good swimmer and I love the water
14. I get a euphoric feeling around waterfalls.
15. a comfort food for me is crunchy rice with doritos, onions and cheese
16. I once won an award for top soprano in jr. high choir
17. one of my nicknames in school was mother Teresa
18. I love science
19. up into college I wanted to be a widllife conservationist
20. my husband John was the boy next door
21. My husband and I fell in love by writing letters to each other.
22. my favorite past times from childhood was game nights with my mom, bro and sis
23. I spent 2 summers in Estes Park, Colorado and 3 summers in Illinois.
24. Used to work as a chef at Girl Scout Camps
25. my soulmate is a woman
26. I have had blood poisoning (I don't recommend it)
27. I have been to Reynosa, Mexico and built houses on a mission trip.
28. I have went to almost 20 different schools from 1st grade to Senior year
29. Used to collect everything Tigger
30. I almost caught Chick-FiL-A  on fire when I put a bag of food under a heat lamp and it burst into flames.
31. I have used a fire extinguisher before.
32. I love to paint
33. I have seen Mamma Mia at least 500 times
34. I have 4972 songs in my I-tunes
35. I have worked at a wedding dress shop
36. I have been to Maine twice
37. My southern accent comes out when I am tired
38. I love road trips.
39. I would love to visit Italy
40. I accepted Christ in my heart when I was 5.


There will be more when I think of them... Did you know all of these?

Be an animal hero!

Do you love animals? My family does. We don't just want a dog that is going to look pretty in pictures. My husband and I love animals! I believe that a love for animals is Biblical! God first made the animals and then when he made Adam he gave him dominion over them. Adam's first children where animals! Now this isn't a blog about not hunting, or breeding or anything like that. But how often do you teach your children love of animals? In our house loving the animals comes naturally, but I know this is not true for all houses. I want Joslyn to love animals! Not so that she will have a dog later in life, but a life long yearning to take care of the animals. The birds in the sky, the fish in the sea, and all around us are animals that God has placed in our care. But so often, like the starving people under the highway, we chose to not subject our children to the sorrow, and pass them by. I want Joslyn to grow up with that need to serve the world. The people and the animals. Feeding the birds, walking the dogs, and even taking the kiddos to the zoo, are good ways to get them started! I can't wait to see what her passion is going to be. But my heart will always have room for the animals. Maybe she will too!

Our lives have been so enriched by our animals. And seeing Joslyn react to them and them react to her has been such a blessing. We currently have two old cocker spaniels that are more family to us then some of our relatives. Nickie- our old grey-haired 11 year old male, we call him the Grumpy old man. And Jinger, who is 6 years old and loves to play fetch with tennis balls. We also have two foster dogs right now, Jazzmine and Piper. Jazzmine is a great dane/pointer mix that is probably the sweetest dog imaginable. She is about a year old and very playful, curious and cuddly. Piper is a husky mix and is new to the household. We don't know much about her yet except that she has been kept in a cage most of her life. So we are having fun watching her run and play out here in the country.

I have met many animal heroes lately, and most of them have foster dogs and cats from Best Friends of Pets. Are you looking for an animal? Check out http://www.bestfriendsokc.org/ for your next friend. There are so many animals looking for a home. Please remember that you don't have to have an animal in your home to be an animal hero. Donating to one of the thousand of animal rescue web sites, one of my favorites is http://www.rescueink.com/ . They are motorcycle riding tough guys that rescue abused animals and do everything in their powers to get the abusers convicted and put away!

What can you do to be an animal hero?

Here comes the whale!

As I'm looking back over the past year, my eyes have been opened to the gentle guidance of my Father. I was questioned many times on my families decision to move to Chickasha and leave my church family and friends. Sometimes I would cry and think I have done the wrong thing. But, I know that God is leading us through a drought and teaching us valuable lessons of his grace and providance along the way.

I was being a Jonah. Thinking that a move to the country would solve all of our problems. I was insecure about being a mother, struggling from financial burden, and mourning the loss of control I had on everything. My world was crashing. So what do you do when you have lost all control? I decided it was time to move. I was sure that Chickasha held the answer!

You can never run farther than God. You can run away from God, but he is always there. Waiting for you to open up to Him and knock down those barriers you build between you and Him. Turns out, I didn't run away from my problems like I thought.

My pre baby life consisted of staying busy enough to not have to deal with my insecurities and codependency. I had just learned through Celebrate Recovery that I was a codependent. I knew that I was dependent on my ministry. But I didn't have the courage to stand up for myself and just quit. I was afraid that if I quit my ministry and stayed in the church that I might be looked down upon or be judged. I also felt that I wouldn't be able to quit fully and would drag myself back into the same predicament when I started feeling out of control. Please don't think that my church would have looked down on me. I love that church, and all my problems were because of my codependence. Codependence is an addiction to people and the reactions of them. I wanted so bad to get better and I knew that taking a break from ministry was the only way for me to seek God for my acceptance and not people. When I moved to Chickasha, the first thing I did was get involved in a church and start serving. I thought, it won't be like it was in Moore. Well, God brought a whale to devour me and make me stop. It didn't feel right. God was telling me that I wasn't supposed to be at this church and here I was back at the confrontation again. I couldn't run away this time. I had to face my fear of confrontation and tell this lovely church that I had made a commitment and couldn't keep it. The old me would have stayed and suffered. So I prayed and sought council and then wandered in with the heaviest heart. And just like God did with Jonah, when he repented, God was merciful. I went in there and told them that I wouldn't be able to fill my commitments and the pastors said we know. I was like what do you mean "you know"? God had prepared their hearts too. He had told them that I would leave and that eventually they would find someone to fulfill those commitments. I was in shock and was humbled. Sometimes I forget how Big God is! He had it all worked out. So I ended up at another great church and had to do the right thing and tell them I couldn't get involved in ministry for a year. And although it has been hard, I am actually learning to get my acceptance from God.

The second thing I was running from was my insecurity about being a mother. I had always wanted to be a mom, and when it finally happened I was scared out of my mind. Seeing how big of a mess I made with my life, I was sure that I would screw up Joslyn. I was so insecure that when I would take her out around people, anything they would say would knock down my security. "She sure spits up alot, is she colicky? She is kicking her legs a lot, she might be constipated." I was able to take little remote concerns and blow them out of preportion. Instead of trusting my instincts. I actually got to the point that I didn't want to take her around people because of the way I would feel for days after. Well, since I had moved too far from the people I knew, now I had to deal with my insecurities alone. Well that has not been easy. God brings in another whale. This whale is actually a person. She is a person in all honesty that I can't stand. It seemed like everywhere I went in this new town, she was there. Why can't I stand her? Because she personifies my insecurities. She is a struggling mom, I have this fear that people will see me as a struggling mom. When I see her I am drawn to the fact that she doesn't always put her child first, and I am so afraid that people will see my selfish side, that I won't always do the best for my child. She is an outsider, I am so afraid of being away from the crowd. I need that acceptance. So much so that I struggled with making sure that Joslyn always looked proper and when something would go wrong, Like a blow-out diaper, I would be disappointed in myself. She is sloppy, I am a closet slob. Only those who really know me know my mess. I will wear myself out making sure the place looks decent for visitors and not be able to enjoy their company. ETC...ETC. So slowly but surely I am facing these flaws of mine and having to learn compassion for her and me. We are not perfect and when we hide our flaws we give up that opportunity to have God fix them. Sometimes He shows us that our FLAWS are actually connections to others. When other people see our vulnerability, they let down their guard and God can come in. I think its better to be flawed and reach others for Christ than to pretend to be perfect and reach no one!

So the last Ninnevah in my life ( thing I was running from) was my finances. Or should I say my inability to control them. John and I have been running from our financial burdens since the moment we said I do. We fell into every pitfall that you can fall into finacially. Credit cards, home mortgages, refinance, loans, and finally bancruptcy. I thought that if we moved to Chickasha that we would actually be making a better change. Our rent went down substancially, but our fuel and wear on the cars went up. It didn't matter how much John worked, we never had money at the end of our month. Suddenly, we had diapers we had to buy, formula, baby food, and doctors expenses. Although I knew that money didn't grow on trees, I was used to a habit of spending money when we had it and not saving for the future. So God's whale for us was poverty. I don't mean true poverty, because even at our lowest moments we were still richer than most of the world. But I mean, not knowing where the money was coming from to pay the electricity bill, how we would buy baby food, and eating rice and beans. I had to learn how to make bread, because we didn't have any money to buy any. We accepted food from church and family, and I had to tell people that I couldn't go anywhere because we had to save the gas for John to get back and forth to work. PLEASE dont feel sorry for us! I am not telling you this to make you feel sorry for us. Everytime, we had to ask for help, or turn down going somewhere, God was humbling us. For the first time in my life I had to look fear of rejection in the eye and say it doesn't matter what people think of me. the love of money had always controlled me. I am so grateful!! The biggest thing is that my husband is right there with me. We rarely communicated about money, unless it was to fight about it. Most of the time, we didn't even fight about it, we just conceeded to each others wishes so that we wouldn't have to be the bad guy. So finally after 10 1/2 years marriage we are communicating about money. We also have a plan to learn how to handle money. I recomend Financial Peace University to everyone. We are learning how to make a budget, how to save and plan for the future. We also have both agreed that Joslyn will grow up knowning all that we have learned so that her future is not full of money mistakes. I will forever be grateful for the lessons that God has taught us during this time.

SO like Jonah, I ran away from the task that God had set before me. And I encountered hardship along the way that I probably would have avoided had I made the changes God's way. But because of God's grace and mercy he brought Jonah and me out of the whale and taught us valuable lessons. I know though that had Jonah not run from God, his story wouldn't have been in the Bible. God can use us, runners or not. Some of us have to encounter a few whales along the way, but it does make for a better story!

Over the hills and through the woods to Grams house we went!

One of my adventures was to see my Grandma. Now you are probably saying how is that an adventure? Well, since my beautiful daughter was born, we have been tight on money, and lately, tight doesn't even cover it. It's more like trying to fit a size six dress on an elephant, kinda tight. My Grams, as we like to call her, lives with my cousins in Sundown, Texas. It is about 6 1/2 hours drive from here. So imagine trying to scrimp up enough money for a trip and drive 6 1/2 hours with an 8 month old and you can see why I say adventure. The trip wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for my darling husband and my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. So we get up Friday morning and leave by 7:00 am. The idea is that the eairlier we leave, the more she sleeps, the better. We had a wonderful road trip, new sights, a happy baby and John and I were even pleasant that early in the morning. I saw a whole bunch of cotton fields and couldn't resist, pickin a little cotton. I had never even seen cotton in the field before and I was shocked that minus the seeds, it felt like a cotton ball. John laughed and asked what I thought it would feel like. I honestly didn't know. So we get there Friday afternoon to Lubbock, Tx and hang out with Grams, my favorite cousins and second cousins, then when 5:30 rolls around my Aunt and Uncle pull into the drive and we have a wonderful dinner of spaghetti. Joslyn and I take a dip in Aunt's pool with Carleigh. We play a round of Complicated Rume' before bed and sleep well. The next day, Aunt Janie is having a Garage sale outside and Uncle Luther, makes us a wonderful breakfast of bacon and eggs and waffles. We all know how to eat in my family. then we mosey on down to Sundown, which is about 45 minutes away from Lubbock. My cousin Mandi and husband Dale, and their 4 wonderful children live in a beautiful renovated house that they have made out of 2 old houses. My Grams lives in a little house made for her right next door. So we ate lunch and played with the kids. Grams and I had a wonderfully long chat while Mandi watched Joslyn. It was so good to catch up! Then Mandi, Dale, John and I had wonderful adult conversation until the wee hours. I don't think that John and I have stayed up so late in a long time. We drove back to Lubbock that night to my Aunt & Uncle's house and crawled into bed. The next morning we drove around a little while everyone was at church and then enjoyed a wonderful lunch. My uncle made a venison roast that was sooooooo good! I am not fond of venison, but this tasted just like a beef roast. I couldn't get enough of it. We packed up and said goodbye. It was so hard to leave! My family makes you want to stay for awhile. I hope that we left lasting impressions on them as they did on us. I love them with all of my heart. Remember that our time on Earth is short, so take avantage of the time you have with family. I am including some pics of our trip. Until next time...

Mystery Gift Exchange!

So another one bites the dust! This adventure was told to me by my new friend Layla. She had us collectively think of 10 things that were smaller than a shoe box and the total amount of them couldn't cost more than $10.00. We had to come up with a gift for each other using everyone of those items. Well I will admit that I didn't do it right but it was fun either way. We could use the items anyway we wanted. So she is much more creative then me, but a caterpiller was one of the items and I got a little dump truck that said caterpiller on the back and she made a little caterpiller out of a noodle and craft items. She is much more craftier than me! So anyways, Layla and I finally decided to exchange gifts after a couple of months. We met at the zoo, I was so grateful to finally get to see her face. We had only talked through facebook before. Had a wonderful day that the zoo, getting to know her family and spending time with another friend. Then we exchanged gifts, hers was wrapped up in a beautiful scarf, which is so like her, and i saw my new treasure box. I was thrilled, and a little embarassed at my feeble attempt to finish mine, but the thought is the same. I love handmade gifts, the time and energy that someone has made something for me and only me. Now I am not a big fan of crocheted potholders, or scarfs, they remind me of itchy things and oldy, moldy stuff. But my friend made Joslyn a beautiful crocheted sweater, and it was soft and perfect for her. Its all about the love in the gift. If you forget to add the love in the gift, well might as well send it back to the store. When you add love, it doesn't matter what the gift is, they will probably remember it more. There was so much love in Layla's gift, I will never forget it! Thanks my new true friend!

The purpose of purpose....

I need to know my purpose! Is my purpose for God only to raise Joslyn right in the Lord and help her to know him. Don't get me wrong, that is the goal of my life! But, that can't be it. I have this desire to do. Do what, I don't know! So long I have lived my life in a box, a comfortable box that was safe and as unscary as I could make it. I am tired of being scared to tear through that box. Well I will tear through that box! God has an amazing purpose for me, and my box will be no where in sight. Through his grace and mercy, I hope to live an amazing life, being content that I am doing his will and that I will be a part of impacting the world for him.
I have vowed to take a year off of commitments. That means no leadership roles or serving positions in church until I am sure that I am at the place that I need to be and that I am living the role I was born to fill. Where that will be, I don't know yet. But, I do know that today, I finally figured out that I have been looking in all the wrong places to find out where that should be. I have been asking my friends, baiting my husband for clues, and searching in valleys, when all I had to do was ask my Lord! Sometimes I think that I am so dense. I mean, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has given me my desires and dreams, and that what he can produce in our lives can fulfill us past full. I know that he speaks to us in many ways, but I didn't think of sitting down, reading his word, and simply asking him to show me my path. Duh! The Bible study that we had in Sunday school was awesome, it was about the Acts 2 church and how do we get to be Spirit filled? I want to be spirit filled, but one of my fears was becoming a spirit filled crazy person, who looked crazy to the outside world. Well, forgive me if I offend anyone, but crazy is not living life to the fullest. Crazy is sitting in your box and not using what God gave you. I am learning this lesson. I've been crazy, I'm going crazy by not knowing what I am supposed to do. I'm tired of crazy, I want to be filled with the spirit no matter how it looks to the outside world!
So I am going to change that, all I have to do is focus my eyes on Jesus. He will lead me out of this wandering path, give me a purpose and help my dreams come true. Tonight I wrote down my questions for God and read Romans chapter 16. I got good incite into what kind of person God is wanting me to be. Goood reading. I said my prayers. I hope to do this every night and spend most of the day, making a conceious effort to talk and pray to God. I can't wait to see what he has to say. It feels good to call up on God, knowing that he will answer me. Sorry God that I haven't called in a while and that I haven't read your letters. I will do better! Amen!

Take that! Pie in the face!

So why a food fight? I have been asked that many times, since the ordeal. Honestly, they always looked fun! But, I could think of a million reasons that I shouldn't join. They are a waste of food, the mess, clean up would be awful, the mess, and did I mention the mess? So the idea of staging my own food fight sounded like just what I needed. Totally out of the ordinary and perfect for my adventure list (see the post on May 1st for a total list of my adventures.) So Saturday I had 8 of my friends and family show up with some great food. Abby, went so far as making special conncoctions, like ketchup mixed with garlic and other stuff. Gross! So we ate hamburgers and chili dogs, and beans. Stacy, Josh, Amber and Abby put a whole bunch of canned goods into throwaway cups. Andrea made sticky, mushy rice and noodles to throw. She also made pudding and jello. We had pies and cookies and peach cobbler for dessert. So after we chowed, we took all the food outside and decided to play mafia. That is a fun game, but a little confusing. As I was trying to explain the game, very poorly, the rest of the gang decided to go all out. So we all ran to the table to grab our amunition, and within 10 minutes it was over. I got pied in the face, banana cream I think. Pinto beans in my swimsuit and a pickle on my head. I was covered, but man it was fun. We laughed and laughed. Once the water hose came out, we had more fun washing off each other with cold water. I throughly, enjoyed every moment and I have crazy thoughts about making it an annual event. When it all comes down to it, life isnt about the moments you stay clean for, or watch from afar, but the moments that are down and dirty and in your face. Live for the moment!

Does anyone have the map to the narrow road?

Tonight I was inspired by one of my dear friends to pick up my Bible. I will be honest with you, I don't read my Bible as often as I should. I love to go to church and gain God's wisdom through the teaching and the life lessons, but I have neglected the Word. I am not sure why reading it is so difficult. Perhaps, its the thought that it will be boring and I won't understand it. Or maybe its because I don't want to hear what God has for me to learn. I think both apply actually. My big life change has to be spiritual as well as physical and emotional. God is my savior and my friend, my comforter and my provider. But I am despirately needing to see Him as my guide. Too many times in this life do I let the world choose how I am to live. My friends, the television, society, even my enemies make my choices for me. I want God to guide me, and I think that I have finally made the decision to read His Word and see where he takes me.

Tonight I read Hosea chapter 1 & 2. A wonderful story of how a nation fell away from God and how he used many trials and heartaches to get them back. He related this whole story to a marriage, in which God told Hosea to marry a woman who would be unfaithful to him and would have children by other men, but would come back to him in the end. Hosea knew ahead of time that she would cheat, but he obeyed God.

What a guy! What an example of obedience towards God! I don't know if i can be that faithful. But, I want to! I want to obey God even if I know that my world will fall apart. Only He, can help me become the person I want to be. I want Joslyn to know of God's love and mercy. I want her to see His miracles and know the blessings that God gives when you serve others.

I have known of the blessings that come with service. I have served in the church, many different ones, almost my whole life. I love the feeling I get when I am being His hands and feet. But, I love that feeling too much. I need that feeling to bring up my self esteem. I wain for the acceptance that comes with doing for others. I realized this when I went through Celebrate Recovery and did the 12 steps. I just haven't changed. God has been very merciful with me and has allowed me to help so many people, through Him only. But upon doing this, I have been able to keep the focus on others and not my shortcomings. I have ignored my family's needs in order to serve, many times and I don't want to do that anymore. Also, I have recently discovered that I will stay somewhere I am not supposed to stay, because I was commited to serving those people. I don't want to go to a church because I can serve there. I want to go to a church because that is where God wants me. I don't want to leave my family to serve, when I know that I am needed at home. My God must come first and my family must come second. Service should be God breathed, and I believe that when it is, that everything else will fall in line.

So, in order to put the focus of my attentions back on God and not on serving, I am going on what I call a serving strike, for 1 year. I have started going back to Celebrate Recovery and I am anxious to see where God is going to lead me next. This is the first time that I can recall that I am not committing to a church or a service project. Believe me, this is scarier then going to a holy roller church. Not making a plan, not scheduling, God is leading. I feel that this will be a wonderful discovery for me and my family. And I hope through out it all, we will be a stronger family, but mostly I want to be closer to God and know that where I have been on this discovery, He has lead me!

PS. the picture is the view from my front porch!

100 new recipies!

Okay so part of my Adventure list is to try to make 100 different recipies from around the world. I love to cook, but besides the normal hamburger helper, lasagna, chicken enchiladas, and tacos. I don't try many new things. This is a new way to get out of my comfort zone and become a better person. If you have a recipe from a country that I may not have on my list, or if you know a better recipe, please comment. I can't wait to see how this goes.

1.France
2.Slovenia
3.Czech (Jennie & Dan)
4.Germany (Roladen)
5.Columbia (Jennie & Dan)
6.Cuba
7.Jamaica
8.China
9.Japan
10.Tunisia

11.Italy
12.Spain
13.Australia
14.Argentina
15.Belize
16.Albania
17.Belgium
18.Chile
19.Denmark
20.Fiji
21.Greece
22.Guatemala
23.Dominican Republic
24.Hungary
25.Iceland
26.Ireland
27.Matagascar
28.Libia
29.Mexico
30.Morocco
31.New Zealand
32.Netherlands
33.Norway
34.Philippians
35.Panama
36.Peru
37.Romania
38.Russia
39.Sweden
40.Slovakia
41.Saudi Arabia
42.Scotland
43.South Africa
44.Serbia
45.Samoa
46.Turkey
47.Palau

48.Sri Lanka
49.Tanzania
50.Taiwan
51.Uganda
52.Uruguay
53.Vietnam
54.Ukraine
55.Syria
56.Switzerland
57.Venezuela
58.Wales
59.Croatia
60.Antigua
61.Bangladesh
62.Canada
63.Congo
64.North Korea
65.South Korea
66.Kenya
67.Honduras
68.Haiti
69.Finland
70.England
71.Egypt
72.El Salvador
73.Ecuador
74.Ethiopia
75.Israel (Shakshuka)
76.Iraq
77.Iran (Mirza Ghassemi)
78.India
79.Indonesia
80.Luxembourg
81.Grenada
82.Monoco
83.Malta
84.Malaysia
85.Poland
86.Portugal
87.Pakistan
88.Senegal
89.Soloman Islands
90.Cape Verde
91.Chad
92.Comoros
93.Cyprus (Kat)
94.Yemen
95.Zaire
96.Zimbabwe
97.Thailand
98.Tibet
99.Seychelles
100.Vatican City

I will need so much help with these!

Bows & Arrows

So I have been a very bad blogger and haven't written awhile. Life has taken me in many different directions lately. I have been busy helping my very good friends open a store The Lime Zebra. A very cute consignment and boutique in Moore, Oklahoma. Joslyn has learned to roll over from her back to her belly, but can't roll on to her back. She gets frustrated fast when on her belly. Also camp wow was this week and i have spent days preparing for it. I do not get to go with the youth this year and I am saddened by it. Adjusting to Chickasha hasn't been hard yet because I am always in the city. I am determined to check out a few places next week that will be in Chickasha that other moms will hang out, ie; library, park, and splash pad. Maybe I will meet some moms from here. The main reason I am writing is because I crossed off another item on my adventure list.
Shooting a bow!

I am so thrilled that my best friend Greenie introduced me to Abby. She is one of those people that you can have tons of fun with but also sit down and have a meaningful conversation with. She has grown to be one of my dear friends. Two weeks ago, Abby and Paul came up for a visit. They drove up in their cute little camper with both George and Emma (german shepards) fogging up the back windows. John and Paul get along famously, so they went off to shoot their pellet guns and left us girls to talk. After an evening of my chicken enchiladas, Mamma Mia, scotch for everyone but me, and great conversation, we crashed around 1 am. My favorite part of the evening was watching Abby help Joslyn get a bath and read books. The next morning before it got too hot, we got the bows out. Paul was my intructor for the lesson and I got all of the dos and don't about shooting a bow. I got to use Abby's bow and after the 6th or 7th shot I actually hit the target. I was thrilled! It was fun. I am enjoying my adventures one by one. The more fearful the experience, the better I feel after it is accomplished. Fear will not control me. Well until next time, happy bow hunting!

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, leg waxing!

So waxing the legs is something I have always wanted to try. Why you may ask? Well, I definately don't enjoy pain but I have wanted the result. Silky smooth legs that don't get hairy for awhile. What woman wouldn't want that? But the pain and the money have always held me back. So when I decided to do my adventure list, I knew it had to go on there. My friend Shawna wanted to help me with an adventure and this one was perfect for her, after all she is a certified cosmitician, I don't know how to spell it. So we commenced with the hair ripping, and the screaming. Well, actually, it wasn't as bad as I expected. It hurt pretty bad, but then it was over and we did it again. and again. The result, silky smooth legs. I love the result. But my legs get the same amount of smoothness after I use veet on them. and it is not painful at all. So adventure done, I am glad I did it but, it's not nessecary for me to ever do it again. and no, bikini wil never be on the list.

Diet time!

So I am getting ready to start the 6 week body makeover. This next Monday is D Day. I am excited to get going on my goals, but I am afraid too. I have always used food as a shield and when you take that away I feel vulnerable. I post this so that you know what food does for me. I have learned through the years and Celebrate Recovery that eating hides the uncomfortable feelings. I am determined not to let this have control any more. With GODs help and my friends (that's you guys), I will beat this! Some of you have wanted info on this diet. I will tell you this. I have never been on a healthier food regimen in my life when I am on this.
6 meals a day
no extra sodium and as low sodium chicken broth as you can find
no dairy - though I add in a little dairy, doctor says to have a little.
eat protein with every meal - protein is what makes your metabolism work
some veggies are free - you can have as much as you want
cook with chicken broth instead of fat, butter or dairy
use any seasons on food except ones that have salt in them
3 ounces of lean meat per meal
3 meals a day you can have 1/2 cup carbs, though for my body type only rice and potatoes for carbs. the other 3 meals you have fruit with your protein.
its really good for you.

4 wheeling

Good friends are those people that see your adventure list and figure out what they can mark off. My friend Abby and her husband Paul are such people. They decided that there were things that they could help me do, and 4 wheeling was one of them. So we came down to Lawton for dinner with them and we were told to bring a change of clothes in case it rains. I had no idea which adventure we were marking off but I was excited. When we got there I was told what it was and I was excited and scared. I'm not an adrenaline junkie, in fact, John says that I'm allergic to adrenaline. So going fast and riding a four wheeler maybe nothing to you, but to me it's scary and therefore an adventure. So Abby took me around the field a couple of times with me holding on for dear life. We went over a few bumps and went upto 4th gear. then she let me drive.I will admit, driving the 4 wheeler wasn't as scary to me as riding it. I guess it is because of the control thing. I would definately do that again. Thanks Abby and Paul, and John!

Purple Rain

So I can cross off my first adventure! Purple hair! Ok, let me explain. I have always been a follow the rules, don't rock the boat, and definately a don't do anything to draw attention kind of girl. So a couple of years ago I have been iching to do something that will draw a little attention and make me feel a little crazy, without getting into trouble. Once I found out that I was going to get to stay at home with my precious child, I decided that that was the time to get purple in my hair. Why purple, well if you have dark colored hair, it really can look cool. So time came to do it and I went in with guns blazing and was so excited. When it was done I loved the look. So how come I am not as happy now with it? Lets see, purple shower, purple hairbrush, purple pillow, and purple towels. That I expected, but what i didn't expect was purple ears, purple neck, and everytime I run my fingers through my hair, purple fingers. I am seeing purple everywhere! Well, a couple more washings and I should be depurplized, but what an adventure!

1 2 3 romance

So I know that when I say that I want to improve the romance in my marriage. I know that you are probably all thinking it's about one thing. But romance is taking that time to consider your spouse and their needs. Sometimes their needs coinside with yours, but occasionally it means the opposite of what you need. Sacrifice is sometimes the way to get exactly what you want. When we sacrifice something, God blesses us tremendously. It doesn't have to be terrible. It may mean doing the dishes, or making their favorite meal. Last week I switched John while he was mowing, he had mowed probably for 2 hours or more and looked so tired. So I told him that I would mow for awhile if he could watch the baby. It gave them Daddy daughter time and I well got to work off a few calories. What could be wrong with that. So I am going to try and find little romantic things that I could do to make his day better. Let me just say that I have the most wonderful man on the planet. Now of course he is still a man and does things well lets say differently, men do that. They can't be perfect like women! But I would do anything for this man, he is my heart, soul and love of my life! Not to mention the father to my child and a looker. Sorry ladies he's taken. For those married or not, can you find something romantic to do for the ones you love?

Impromptu adventure

So went on a little walk with my hubby, baby in the stroller and my 2 cocker spaniels. Nickie, our male was on a leash because he tends to wander and start fights. There are a lot of stray dogs around our neighborhood. Jinger was running free but we brought her tennis ball, which usually will bring her back from anything. So there is a road that runs behind our property and some other properties and curves around a small pond. Lots of over grown brush back there. John was throwing the ball for Jinger, she runs after it, catches it and runs into the bush. Somewhere in the brush she drops her ball and disappears into the tall grass and trees. You could barely see her little head as she bounced through the brush after who knows what. John had seen a rabbit pass by earlier and as always I missed it. Since we have moved out here he has seen multiple animals and I always seem to miss them. John was farther down the path trying to head her off if she came out of the heavy brush the other way. I was staying up hill to get her back out and you could here her crashing through the brush panting all the way. I'm calling her name and crash! out of the brush trots a huge deer, Jinger quick on her heels. I was floored! Couldn't believe that my little cocker spaniel scared out a deer. Scared me to death but it was pretty funny. Needless to say, she completely forgot where her ball was and we spent a few minutes before she disappeared again. She was having a blast and I kept thinking she is going to get lost, or bitten by a snake. I am such a worry wort and she was just being a very happy dog. Next time do nothing different!

Adventure Time

So I'm sorry it has taken a couple of days for me to write this. I came down with what I am calling the country flu. It started as allergies, then a sore throat and runny nose, the next day I had a fever and the worse sinus headache and now I am back to the sore throat and runny nose.

Adventure, what does that make you think of? My husband likes to say that I am allergic to adrenaline. I am not much of a risk taker. Adventure for me is trying a new restaurant or taking a back road. But there is a small part, and I mean small, that is dying to feel the speed of 200 miles per hour. SO in order to improve my quality of life, I am setting a goal of 150 new things that I wouldn't normally do before. My husband is all over this list. He is definately a risk taker. So I am going to put this out there for all to respond to and I will edit this list until I have come up with 150 things. Please feel free to give me ideas on what you think is adventurous. Let me say this though, I will not eat anything funky like bugs, chocolate covered or not! These adventures are not in order but the numbers that are next to the adventures is my goal of the year Joslyn will be when I accomplish this task. Give me your ideas and here is what I have so far...

1. get purple hair (accomplished 5/12/2010)

2. ride on a fourwheeler (accomplished 5/15/2010)

3.get legs professionally waxed (accomplished 5/26/2010)

4. shoot a bow (with ABBY) accomplished 5/30/2010

5.be in a food fight (accomplished 7/10/2010)

6. Mystery gift exchange with Layla (accomplished 8/25/2010)

7.  visit my grandma (accomplished 9/3/2010)

8.  walk on eggshells (accomplished 1/15/2011)

9. Finish Financial Peace University! (accomplished 1/23/11)

10. Watch a scary movie that John picks out (accomplished 2/27/11)

11. learn to make balloon animals (accomplished 4/23/11)

12. hold a tarantula (if you know me at all, this is scarier then sky diving)(Accomplished 11/12/2011)

13.Write a song ( accomplished 12/25/2011)

14. Get my passport (accomplished 02/07/2012)

15. enjoy a dinner theater show (accomplished 2/12/2012)

16. prepare a meal for a friend in their home.(accomplished 3/18/2012)

17. ride on an elephant (accomplished 3/25/2012)

18.Make a starter bread and make a loaf out of it (accomplished 12/10/12)

19.go on a cruise (accomplished 1/25/2014)

20.go to a native american ceremony(2)

21.learn to sew(2)

22.stay the night on a moving house boat(2)

23.stand on a street corner with a sign for an hour that says "honk if you love Jesus"(2)

24.Learn to make cheese. (2)

25.go mudding in a big truck(2)

26.Dig for gems(2)

27.Catch a catfish(2)

28.dress up like a rodeo clown for a fair or festival(2)

29.squish grapes for wine and help in a vineyard for a day at Sandhill Vineyards(2)

30.Go to IHOP(International House of Prayer) with Toni(2)

31.Get debt free and speak with Dave Ramsey on the radio!(2)

32.go hunting for an animal (but not a deer, I could never shoot Bambi) something small gopher?(2)

33.milk a cow(2)

34.work on a cattle farm for a day(2)

35.take a motorcycle riding course (doing this only for my biker babe)(2)

36.make homemade butter (churn it myself) sounds exhausting(2)

37.ride on a seadoo(2)

38. go geo-cashing(2)

39.sheer a sheep(2)

40.Make a starter bread and make a loaf out of it (2)

41.John buys me an outfit and I must wear it one whole day(2)

42.go noodling (2)

43.take a cooking class (with Kim Ferrell)(2)

44. Go Mud Wrestling(2)

45.play golf(2)

46.learn to say hello in 50 different languages(2)

47.clean house for an elderly person in need(2)

48.try to water ski(2)

49.ride a mechanical bull(2)

50. get a henna tattoo(accomplished Sept. 28th, 2012)

51.learn to play bridge, p-nuckle, and canasta(2)

52. carve my name in a tree(2)

53.learn origami(2)

54.make beef bourguignon(2)

55.sumo wrestle in blowup suits (2)

56.Ride in a horse drawn carrage.(2)

57.learn to drive a tractor(2)

58.take a glass blowing course(3)

59.go sailing(3)

60.hand glide(3)

61.take a self defense class(3)

62.grow crystals(3)

63.build a radio(3)

64.clean and cook a fish(3)

65.build a rocket and shoot it off(3)

66.play paintball (3)

67.learn to throw a baton and catch it(3)

68.ride in a blimp(3)

69.go on a zipline(3)

70.go zorbing(3)

71.take a dance class(3)

72.go to an Oktoberfest (3)

73.make a quilt (Aunt Carolyn)(3)

74.wash a dog at a dog wash (3)

75.go to a fashion show(3)

76.catch a greased pig sulphur rodeo(3)

77. get certified to go into the prisions(3)

78.take a hip hop dance class(3)

79.learn to juggle(3)

80.go cave climbing(3)

81.offer a stranger a ride(3)

82.touch an ostrich (terrified of these)(3)

83.go on a Ghost tour!(3)

84.make a model ship(3)

85.make a doll house for Joslyn (3)

86.throw a mystery party(3)

87.learn how to salsa dance(3)

88.spend a day volunteering at an orphanage(3)

89.make a scrapbook for Joslyn (3)

90.go to a really big food festival(3)

91.stay at a monestary for one night(3)

92.float the talequah river with my husband(3)

93.go white water rafting (hope Sharla will go with me)(3)

94.flock someone(put flamingos in someones yard)(3)

95.learn to snorkel(4)

96.write a childrens book(4)

97.go rock climbing(4)

98.Inspire 10 other people to do an Adventure List (4/10)Kristi,Chad,Stephanie,Tiffany A.,(4)

99.make a stained glass window(4)

100.make 100 new recipies from around the world( see posting from June 11)(4)

101. go snow skiing (terrified of this)(4)

102.take a log rolling lesson(4)

103.take a honeymoon with my hubby(4)

104.make a piece of pottery(4)

105.get my fortune read(4)

106.Sky diving (thank you Andrea)(4)

107.take a yodelling course(4)

108.go kayaking(4)

109.see a broadway play(4)

110.build a chicken coop(4)

111.start and maintain a garden(4)

112.ride in a hot air balloon(4)

113.go to marti gras(4)

114.see 100 musicals (see post from December 6th, 2011)(4)

115.learn to wind surf(4)

116.swim with dolphins(4)

117.ride in a race car going over 100 miles per hour(4)

118. go parasailing(4)

119.take a helicopter ride(4)

120.Ride one of the ten largest roller coasters(4)

121.visit a haunted house(4)

122.ride a unicycle(4)

123. go to the top of a volcano(4)

124. bungee jumping(4)

125. take a surfing lesson(4)

126. participate in a Hanukkah celebration (4)

127. read the entire Bible (4)

128. fast for 48 hours (4)

129. go for a long hike with Abby (4)

130. go to a midnight showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show (4)

131. Eat a Chicago Dog (2)

132. be a part of a flash mob (4)

133. go kiteboarding (4)

134. gutting and clean an animal, and then eating the kill (4) John's choice

135. learn make beer

136. Go deep sea fishing

137.

138.

139.

140.

141.

142.

143.

144.

145.

146.

147.

148.

149.

150.Get a tattoo (only if I get 100 followers) with my sister

P.S. Tomorrow I will talk about my next goal, the picture is of my pink laptop, which I love very much and am typing on right now.

Green Acres!

So, my second goal is to go green! This doesn't mean that I will one of those people who boycott toilet paper and gasoline. What green means to me is doing my part to support local businesses, local people and therefore cut down our carbon footprint. My husband and I love this show we saw on the food network, back when we had cable, called 100 mile challenge. The concept of this was that you could only eat food that came from within 100 miles of you. Doesn't sound that hard but it is! Check your pantry, especially your spices. Do you know where your salt comes from? and how long it has traveled? What about your chicken? or beans? You name it, it probably has traveled a long distance. Which makes me wonder, who made it, who am i supporting?

Okaay, I know it is a little crazy to go that extreme, and i don't want to. But I love the idea of knowing who I am supporting and reducing the distance my food travels. Made in the USA! How often do you check your food to see if it's even made here. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with stuff from other countries. But I know that I shouldn't complain about the gov't supporting other countries if I don't do my part.

So, John and I have discussed how we can help. Some of the things we want to be a part of are csa's. Community Supported Agriculture is a program that gives you the chance to support your local farmers. You buy shares of a local farm and they give you product every week. You have to drive out and pick up your product, therefore meeting the farmers and getting to know them. You don't know what your going to get until you pick it up, although you pick the farm and they have lists of what they grow on the website. We also want to buy local beef and pork and chicken. Local eggs and honey.

I would also like to start my own compost pile, and attempt a garden of my own. I don't hold high hopes of this though because I have a black thumb.

We try and carpool as much as we can when we have to go into the city and eventually I would like to take Joslyn on bike rides for local trips.

As always I would love to hear your comments on how you help the environment. God made the earth in 6 days, lets try and keep it beautiful!

P.S. Tomorrow I am so excited to talk about my 150 adventures. be thinking of adventurous things. the picture is of my dog Sinnamon that is now in heaven, treasure every moment!

How will I ever do it?

150 pounds! That is what I want to lose. How will I ever do it? Well, I don't think that I have ever been more excited about this weight loss project, then all the times I have been on diets before. Mostly, because I am not going on a diet, I am going for a life change. What is the difference? Well obviously a diet is to lose weight, and a life change is to change my life. I just hope that weight is lost in the process. I have been on many diets and some of them work and some dont, but none of them I can stick to. So this time I am trying something different.

About a year and a half ago, my wonderful husband purchased the program The 6 week Body makeover by Michael Thurmond. I opened the package with mega excitement, did all of the preperations, and figured out my body type. We threw away all the food in the house and started over. The body makeover is a wonderful program, it has many great elements. First of all, you can't eat anything processed, meaning no dairy, I love cheese. No chicken nuggets, no barbeque sauce, ketchup, anything. Why, you say? Well, most processed foods have one common denominator, SALT! The main thing that this diet focuses on is sodium and the less you have the better. Secondly, the diet requires you to eat 6 times a day. That seems a lot, but it is very necessary if you want to boost your metabolism. These are great ideas! I lost 20 pounds in a month on this system and never gained it back. I mean still havent gained it back.

So, my plan is to start in 2 weeks back on this program, and I will do only this for 2 weeks. I want to get my body used to the eating 6 times a day, smaller portions, and the no sodium. Interesting fact, the first 2 weeks that your body goes without salt, everything taste very bland, but, after that anytime you taste a spice, it has more flavor than ever before. See we can't really taste the spices in their true form because of all the salt we eat. After, the 2 weeks are over I will slowly add in the things I love, like dairy, but stick with the portion sizes and 6 meals. The reason I want to do this is because, i got very bored with the makeover fast because I couldn't have the things I love. I know now that I can't fully give up everything I love or it won't be a true life change. Eventually, I will find a way to eat what I want and forget all that I have learned. I am so excited though, because I really want to start to enjoy fresh fruits and vegetables and this diet requires them.

Next, I plan to start walking. There are few things in life that are quite so easy, for someone like me. I like to complain about many things, but when I actually go walking I enjoy it. I really want Joslyn to start enjoying her surroundings, and this is a great way to make that happen. We live in a little community of trailer homes in which every member has 1 to 5 acres of land. I really love our neighborhood. It feels like a very safe place to be. Maybe our walking will inspire others to walk too. There are horses and cows, great sights for a little girl to see. Not to mention all of the other critters.

So, that is my plan and I hope that I can honor myself enough to follow through with it. After all, I am God's creation, and I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I hope that you will enjoy my trials and triumphs of this journey and that most of all God is glorified. Please feel free to comment with ideas and advice or positive thoughts. I have no room for negitivity in my life.

P.S. tomorrow I will post on some of my ideas for part 2 of my goals, going green! The picture is of a critter that lives very close to our land.

Learning a little about my past can change my future

Let me first tell you a little about me. I am a 31 year old stay at home mom, to a new baby girl who is 4 months old. When I got pregnant after 9 years of trying to have a baby with my wonderful husband of 10 years, I was very unhealthy. Being pregnant was a wonderful experience for me, not only did I enjoy every move and kick, but I was healthier then I have been in a while. No sinus problems, almost no weight gain, only 12 pounds, and I felt good. After she was born my husband and I made the decision that I would stay home with her. I had a great job but it was a no brainer.

When Joslyn came into the world I knew that she would change my life. I have always tried to help others as much as possible, but the one thing I never have been good at was taking care of my self. I spent so much time taking care of others so I would not have to take care of me and deal with my own issues of insecurity, codependency, and food addiction. I visited a local church and started going to Celebrate Recovery . It was a wonderful program and I would recommend it to anyone. After finishing the 12 step program, God soon blessd me with my wonderful child.

For the first few months of her life I began to notice certain things about my life that I did not want Joslyn to do. One thing for sure was the "me" attitude! I have some great friends, don't get me wrong, but certain people I love have the wrong attitude about life. It's not about us, this life of ours. God didn't put me on this earth for me, he put me on this earth to tell others about Him. Now, I get that most people can't stand the Bible beaters of this world. I can't either. But I would be lying if I didn't say that I love Jesus with all my heart! But I want people to wonder why my life is so different. I want mine and my family's hearts and lives to explode with so much joy that people can't help but ask.

Secondly, I went through a mini depression state when I had my baby, this seems to happen to me when something really good happens in my life. Chalk it up to my childhood, I have major abandonment issues. When things get good, I fear that they wont stay that way, instead of enjoying it. This is going to change. I am determined to enjoy life if it kills me, get it? since we all die anyways, I am going to attempt to give this fear thing a run for it's money.

I noticed that the kind of life I wanted was a more simple one. John and I were determined to get out of our slump, so we decided to move to the country. I know that this sounds crazy but for us it is working. I wanted to start enjoying my family, so we decided not to get cable. At the present time, we have no television at all. Don't get me wrong we have a tv, a couple of them, and we can only watch movies on them, which we do together as a family most nights. We also spend sometime looking at the stars, which are beautiful out in the country, and enjoying nature. I noticed that the more I was away from the advertisements, the more my need for the newest, baddest thing went away. And the more I loved and treasured the things I have.

I feel very lucky to get to share this life with those I love and maybe you can share it with me too. The pic is me 9 months pregnant.

Preview: tomorrow I will share some of the things that I plan on doing to make this change possible, stay tuned....