The secret I must tell!

Hey ya'll! Today I have a little confession to make!

A

Little

Secret!

It's eating me alive🙀 SO here it goes....

So I was just sitting in my livingroom and I felt it. 

The strange desire.

You see my headphones were on and my music was playing. 

And then this song came on. 

I haven't done this in awhile. 

But when the urge happens, I  just have to oblige. 

So everyone was asleep except Joslyn, who was in the playroom watching a show.

So I didn't want her to see me, so I went into the bathroom. 

And I turned up the music. 

Well, I couldn't help it. 

I started tapping my foot, and then, I kind of swished my hips. Then the arms started moving up and down. The next thing I knew I just lost control!!!!!

I mean full on dancing!!! And not like your momma used to dance. I mean full on dirty, booty-shaking, hips-gyrating, club dancing. And it wasn't pretty. Like sweat was dripping, the floor was shaking, (nope it wasn't an earthquake, it was me ya'll) and the room got a little steamy. This little party lasted about 10 minutes. And it was AWESOME!!!

So once the urge was over, I stopped, looked in the mirror and promptly passed out. 

But I'm okay, don't worry. I promise to mostly be honest with my friends. Okay, okay!!! I didn't really pass out, but I did see stars! 

Cause ya'll don't even know how good I was. I mean Call Dancing with the Stars!!!! I'm ready to make my fortune now!! I will be famous and dancing with the hottest guy on the floor. And ya'll will wish you believed me then!

Oh well, anyways! That is the pretty ugly truth! I am starting this new segment with my blog called The Pretty Ugly Truth. When my blog is ready for it, I will be doing video blogs with me, and my baggy eyes and messy hair and house, sharing myself. You see I believe that something missing in this world is people being transparent with each other. And sometimes that means being exposed. Because there are too many people trying to hold up all their masks and double lives. I know how that feels. It gets exhausting! So keep coming back. I will get it together soon. And get your masks ready, cause it's gonna be UGLy!!!

No no, that isn't the big revelation that I promised a few weeks back. It's still coming. And it's gonna knock most of your socks off. So wait for it. 

Later Homies!!

PS: Dancing With The Stars, call me!!!

Funeral pictures

 I'm getting to that age that funeral happen more frequently. It's a sad part of life. One thing I have noticed at those funerals I have been going to is the slide show they do. Have you seen those? You know where they take all these pictures of the deceased and show a progression of that person's life on a big screen. It's become my favorite part. 

I love to sit and listen to the comments and laughter that people do during the show. Those pictures are priceless at that very moment. A moment when strangers share a bond of memories together of them. 

 It was a funeral that I (like many other people do) started thinking of how my funeral would be. Typical control freak I started figuring out what songs I would like, how my flowers would look, what preacher would speak and of course what color box or urn I would be it. But when I got to the slide show, I had to pause. You see I have always hated the way I looked. So therefore I couldn't stand being in pictures. I always told myself one day I would look like I've dreamed I would and then I would take lots of pictures. One day! 

Then It dawned on me that what if one day never came? What would my slideshow look like if no one had pictures of me? What if my self esteem issues robbed my children the joy of seeing pics of their momma on that day? What if people asked my kids what I looked like and they couldn't show pictures of me. I know it might seem like Pride. But honestly, every time I see pictures of someone I love up on that screen, I smile.  I don't look at them and think, boy I wish they looked different. I think of all the happy times we had, how grateful I was to have them in my life. Or wow that was such a funny situation! 

So I promised myself from that time on, I would gather with my friends, suck in my tummy, smile and take that picture. Because I want my life to reflect who I am, not my insecurities. I don't ever want my fears to run my life. And one day, my kiddos will have a memorial for me, and I want them to have lots of memories to choose from. I can do that for them!!!

I'm back!!!!!

Wow! It's been more than a year since I have posted on this blog! I'm sorry but not sorry that life got in the way. 

So let me update you on what's been going on with us. 

Joslyn started pre-k August of 2014, And soon after I asked to join the PTA at her school. I was quickly told that There was no PTA at the school, but They would be ecstatic if I would run it. I quickly called my dearest friend Jodi, who was big into the PTA and she convinced me that I could do it. I sat down and prayed that God would guide my steps and that if He wanted me to do this then He would provide the right people to make up my team. He quickly answered and brought me some amazing people to walk along this journey with me. And a journey it has been! Our PTA started with no funds, due to embezzlement, and had major tax issues with the IRS we had to clear up. We also had to earn the trust of the teachers and staff of our school. We accomplished much last year. We had 4 very successful events and many programs that enriched the school and students. We raised money for supplies for library books and musical instruments for the school. So as you can imagine this kept me very busy. 

 Also I have been the trainer for a Celebrate Recovery in OKC, on Thursday nights. I have enjoyed helping others in their recovery journeys alongside working on my own recovery issues. I recently in the last month have resigned as the the Trainer of CR and have decided to run the children's version of CR. It is important to me that my children and other children experience the freedom from their hurts, hangups and habits. So that is going well, and I also get paid to run the program, so that's some bonus income that I am bringing in. Yea!

We got to escape the apartment lifestyle In February of this year. We moved into a little house not far from where we lived before. It's got a good size backyard and the best part is washer and dryer hookups. I so have felt blessed by God to have this house for the time we have gotten it. We have had a few scary moments, like a drive by shooting next door and a tresspasser In our backyard. Also we have lost one lawnmower due to theft. But otherwise it has been a great change. Some things I don't like about the house is the one bathroom and the carpet that is everywhere even in the kitchen. But we have dealt with those issues and are surviving well. And I have much enjoyed having clean clothes whenever I want them!!!

So next I will talk about my sweet children. Joslyn is 5 1/2 and about to head into kindergarten this year and Jaxon is turning 3 in October! How did this happen. Joslyn has lost her front two teeth and about to lose another one. But what is weird is that you could see her big teeth coming up behind her baby teeth before they fell out. 

Jaxon got potty trained this summer thanks to a collaboration between me and my sweet mother-in-law. He has made the transition easily and I feel very lucky that we don't have many accidents.  Knock on wood!!!

Joslyn did very well in her first year of school and learned all of her alphabet. She did get in trouble a few times and it also was during naptime. I will be interested to see how kindergarten goes without naptime. Jaxon followed me around the school all last year and we have another year of him under foot. I found it difficult to get all my work done with him there but luckily I have many helpers at the school that love him as much as I do!!! 

Joslyn gets to start Girl Scouts this month and I am super excited for her to join this program. She also has learned to tie her shoes. Joslyn is super into anything princess, nature and she is super competitive. She wants to be a mommy when she grows up! Jaxon is super into trains, cars and trucks. He is all boy but is regularly subjected to sissy dressing him up like a girl. He is independent and fierce, and can destroy a room like a strong tornado can. 

On the food journey, I have found that balancing the PTA, my children and all my other desires, once again my health and food addiction have been put on the back burner. But every failure brings me a little bit closer to success. 

Speaking of success, my hubby and I have been doing really well in managing our finances and communicating about what and where our finances are going. 

So I want to talk a moment about what is next for our family. We have some very very exciting news we will be sharing in the next few months but it's got to be the right time so right now I will share what I can. There will be big blog changes coming soon. I will soon be looking into purchasing a website and transferring   this blog into the website. I have great ideas on how to engage new readers and how to blog better. So please stick around! Cause I'm back for good!! Right now I am committing to posting to this page once a week, to the best of my ability. I have redesigned our families goals ( at the top of the page) and will update those goals today, so keep checking back in to see the changes. 

Also I please ask that If you have a minute, please take time to pray for my family in these certain areas.

This year will be my last Presidential term for the PTA, so I am going to make it a great one. You can only run for two

Consecutive terms, so my team will be looking for able bodies to fill our positions and keep our visions alive. Please pray for guidance as we look for our successors. 

Please also pray as I teach my children and others the ways of gaining victories in their lives. This recovery life is hard. But life in recovery is a life with hope for the future. I will also be training other leaders in teaching our children. I feel very unqualified in this endeavor. 

Please pray as we make some major decisions in our family's life that God will guide us during this process. We want our dreams to come true but only if it is God's will. 

How can we pray for you?