Funeral pictures

 I'm getting to that age that funeral happen more frequently. It's a sad part of life. One thing I have noticed at those funerals I have been going to is the slide show they do. Have you seen those? You know where they take all these pictures of the deceased and show a progression of that person's life on a big screen. It's become my favorite part. 

I love to sit and listen to the comments and laughter that people do during the show. Those pictures are priceless at that very moment. A moment when strangers share a bond of memories together of them. 

 It was a funeral that I (like many other people do) started thinking of how my funeral would be. Typical control freak I started figuring out what songs I would like, how my flowers would look, what preacher would speak and of course what color box or urn I would be it. But when I got to the slide show, I had to pause. You see I have always hated the way I looked. So therefore I couldn't stand being in pictures. I always told myself one day I would look like I've dreamed I would and then I would take lots of pictures. One day! 

Then It dawned on me that what if one day never came? What would my slideshow look like if no one had pictures of me? What if my self esteem issues robbed my children the joy of seeing pics of their momma on that day? What if people asked my kids what I looked like and they couldn't show pictures of me. I know it might seem like Pride. But honestly, every time I see pictures of someone I love up on that screen, I smile.  I don't look at them and think, boy I wish they looked different. I think of all the happy times we had, how grateful I was to have them in my life. Or wow that was such a funny situation! 

So I promised myself from that time on, I would gather with my friends, suck in my tummy, smile and take that picture. Because I want my life to reflect who I am, not my insecurities. I don't ever want my fears to run my life. And one day, my kiddos will have a memorial for me, and I want them to have lots of memories to choose from. I can do that for them!!!