What a wonderful God we have!

I cannot tell you how blessed I am right now. God is doing such amazing things in my life. He is so good to us. I so don't deserve it. I have amazing friends and family. I am seeing victories in my struggles. And I am seeing generosity in huge amounts I have never seen before. Let me share just a little about what is happening.


When I was young and my mom would take us shopping to the grocery store and she would spend an hour talking with someone in the store she just met. I would hate that.

And when we would not have money for food or money to pay the light bill, and the church would provide for us, I would say that is so irresponsible of us, I will never do that.

And when my mom's friends would take us to do fun things that we couldn't afford, I would be embarassed that we couldn't afford it ourselves.

I used to think that having others help you was a defect of character.
I used to think that having your friends do things for you meant you were lazy.
And I used to think that talking with everyone about your issues was just so silly.

I WAS WRONG!!!

My mom was and is so wise. She really did know what she was talking about. She did an amazing job with us, by herself.

Because now that I am grown and that I do the same things I get it.
I understand the value and specialness(is that a word), of being able to honestly speak to someone about who you are without fear of condemnation.
I understand the lesson in humility and God's blessing when he uses people to provide what you need, when you are trusting in Him.
I understand that not being able to do it all by yourself, is not a defeat in character, but a strength, because you are loosening the reins of control.

I GET IT!

I have had to make some tough choices lately and when I feel like I can't provide and let Him have the reins, He provides so much more than I ever could. I have done some hard work and He blesses me for taking the risk of putting myself out there. He blesses me when I choose to be still, or even more when I choose to stand up for myself and my future. And He blesses me with friends, amazing friends that love to help me. When I think I can't give anything to them back, they say they don't need anything. When I feel like I am a burden, God tells me I am not. That I need to not do it all. That I need to receive also along with giving. I feel blessed beyond words.

My business is doing good. I am not making lots of money yet. But I have sold a few pieces and traded for some. I am still doing some to get my name out there. So I am giving a lot away for free. And I will probably not make a profit for awhile. But that is okay. Remember when I wrote about trying to find joy? This brings me so much joy! Here are a few of my new creations.

$20.00 baby name room decor

$30.00 Stained Glass Cross

Classic Mickey $25.00

One of my biggest struggles is being financially responsible with my money. I can 5 and 10 dollar us to death. But my truest issue is not being able to say no to spending. My hubby is the same way. We are codependent towards each other about money. If I wanted it, I would just bat my little eyes and he would say yes. And he rarely asks for things so I would feel guilty saying no when he would ask for something. But God is making huge strides in this area of my recovery. First of all, I took over the budget, because I had to see it to change. I had to see the stress my honey was going through each time trying to balance. Also, I am the planner, I am naturally suited to plan the budget. But the biggest achievement for me is being able to say no, to myself and to my hubby. I now see the bigger picture. I can see where we could be if we say no to the little things we don't need now and see what we can have. Freedom for starters. A family vacation, I real one! Security for the kids future. These are things we can accomplish, with God's help, and responsibility on our part. Thank you God for opening my eyes. I have less stress taking over the budget than I did before.

Because of my hubby's schedule, I rarely find time to myself. And being a codependent for so long, I never valued moments of me time. Now me time is precious. And because of a great accountability partner, I am starting to schedule little bits of me time and I love it. The best thing is that I have amazing friends that offer to keep the kiddos so I can get things like sleep and long showers. Tonight is a total free night and I am using a little of it to write to you because I miss you! And I know that you think I have forgotten you, but I haven't. I can't stop blogging because it is my outlet. A praise to God for His blessings. Words from the Spirit bursting out of me, that are not my own.(Thank the Lord). Moments of sanity in a chaotic world. So thank you for being patient. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you to my amazing friends that earn crowns in heaven for giving me peaceful moments. I hope to one day repay you all for your kindness. And thank you to my Lord and Savior, who trusts me with so much, and gives me grace when I can't do it all, and who loves me too much to let me stay in my mess. Thank you!!!
Now I will give you the dessert. The pics of my angels.

I love you all!