ReJOYcing!

A month ago I took a blue chip in Celebrate Recovery for lack of joy/ being too serious. I heard on the radio earlier that day a speaker talking about being to serious and how it can be sinful. Being too serious usually has to do with too much worry or needing too much control. If we are in control of something, then that means God isn't in control. And we all know that worrying too much means that we are not trusting God to handle that situation.


I have always had a problem with this. Because I had to take control of my family life at a young age, the need for control stuck around. I like to control my situations, my heart, my family, my life. I have always been so serious. Laughter is hard for me. Yes I don't even like to let myself laugh. Not sure why, but it takes a lot to make me laugh these days. I tend to look at the negative sides of things now instead of the fun sides. That is one reason I made my adventure list. I have to schedule myself fun days. Days where I don't worry about the messes that I will have to clean or the things I will have to replace. Days where the clean up is worth the mess. A lot of my seriousness is directed towards my children and it breaks my heart to hear them be concerned about unimportant stuff like Mom is. Messes, broken things. I want to teach her to clean up after herself and take care of herself, but not at a cost of them losing their joy.

My mom is a lady that has had joy in her heart for as long as I can remember. Even when my dad broke her heart over and over, she always found the way to show her joy. I long to be a joyful person. And not just when things are good. But when things are bad too! Joy is something that can't be diminished easily. Happy flies in and out the door while joy is tethered to the soul. Jesus can give me joy, so I have prayed for it and surrendered my control and given it to Jesus.

This morning I saw a change. I got a super surprise call from my Bestie this morning! I was thrilled when she told me that she got her dream job! I would normally be happy for her. But this morning, that news made my morning. I felt high on her elation! And certain things that went wrong this morning, didn't bother me so. I also have recalled some actual laughter moments with my daughter this last month. Moments that I normally would be mad at or be upset, I have enjoyed instead.

I still have a far way to go, but I am so glad for this progress! It is a definite victory I can share in my share group at CR. And I will be elated to get my 30 day chip on Thursday.

Here's to a life with joy. May we all strive for it and let it show!