Update from 3 months to Three years.

Both my children are 3?!?! Jaxon is now 3 months old and Joslyn is 3 years. I have meant to post about Joslyn's birthday party but time has slipped away. Here are a few updates on my life in the trenches.

Jaxon

He is driving already. Okay not really but isn't that cute, daddy already giving him lessons. There is really not much to complain about with this precious child. He is so very sweet. Loves to be held and mostly a laid back baby. Loves to smile and talk to me especially. Sometimes we will have 10 minute conversations in baby coos back and forth. He looks like he even listens to me which is definitely not the case with sister. He prefers sitting up in his highchair or his bouncer as opposed to laying down. He does enjoy a small amount of time in his crib with his play mat toys and his light up mobile. He is still sleeping in his boppy in bed with momma. I have gotten much advice about when to put him in his own bed, but right now we are happy co-sleeping. I am not strong enough yet to make the transition into his own bed yet and will definitely need daddy home for awhile to help me when that transfer happens. He still gets up every 3 to 4 hours to eat at night and occasionally I will get 5 hours and that feels like heaven. Many nights when John gets home he will find me asleep propped up with Jaxon propped up in my arms and the bottle buried amongst the covers. Staying awake for those feedings doesn't always happen. But we do enjoy much playtime now and I still claim that he is teething though nothing is popping through yet. It is very hard to control the drool. Big sister and I sometimes call him Bubbles from the bubbles that he blows, but the sweetest thing is when sister calls him her buddy. He lights up my moments with his smiles.

Joslyn

Our little princess as daddy calls her. If she were a little princess she would not have on a poofy dress, or she would be the one in a poofy dress in the middle of a mud puddle. She loves to be outdoors. And we are super excited for spring to come since she will be starting soccer. I can't wait to see how she does on a team. She is so very social. She loves meeting new people and calls all little boys and girls she meets friends. I hope she is always like this. She can be prissy in her attitude but really isn't in her fashion sense. I am very glad about this because this momma isn't fashion savvy at all. She picks out her shoes for the day and her jammies at night. She loves jammies and they have to match for her to wear them but she has boy WOODY  and Boy Bug pajamas and those are just as special as the tinkerbell and lalaloopsey ones. Joslyn loves to read books and sing. I have always commented that she is musically talented and I still think that. She sings most of her songs on the right pitch. Right now we are looking at schools to send her to. And although I have been very public about my opinion that it doesn't matter which school you send your kid to, we have been very concerned about what school is the right fit for our little girl. I had really wanted to homeschool. But the more I learn about my sweet talented, smart little girl, the more I know in my heart it isn't right for her. I am not opposed to public education at all, but my husband is. So we have almost agreed that she will go to a Christian private school. The question is where. And only God can tell us that. Joslyn is very smart and mature for her age. She is also very big for her age. Her height is definitely on the 100 percent mark along with her weight. She picks up a lot from conversations. Our little girl is a funny little girl. She loves to make people laugh and get attention that way. Her and daddy have that in common and we are pretty sure that she will be the class clown. There are good and bad things about that trait. She is also at a very stubborn and testing stage of her life and she definitely knows how to press my buttons. But we also have lots of sweet moments and moments where I am such a proud momma. She is very active and always likes to be on the go. Neither one of us likes to sit at home.

ME

Reading the Christmas Story on Christmas Day

Well I will admit I am not at my best right now. But I know that this is a testing time from God. I have much to learn about patience and boundaries. As a person in recovery I am constantly aware of the struggles and victories that God is working on in me. I struggle with my food addiction really bad right now. One of the reasons I don't like to be home much is because I have trouble staying out of the refrigerator  I really consider having my jaw wired shut sometimes. It is easier to control my eating urges when I am amongst other people. I also struggle with impatience. My daughter and I have clashing personalities. It frustrates me to no end when she is defiant and disobedient, but I also know that I am constantly at fault for not giving special attention to her. My mind and body wants to take refuge from the chaos and noise that is my life by hiding away. My body by numbing with food and my mind with distracting tv and internet. Anything to escape. So I am constantly having to work on staying present in the moment. It doesn't help that I am not happy with our current work situation and that I am overly tired all the time. But despite all of this, I am gaining ground. They say in recovery that each relapse is shorter or less intense and ultimately we learn from our mistakes. I am learning how to communicate my feelings and  fears. I am trying to be open with Joslyn about why I get frustrated at her disobedience and my anger is significantly reduced when we talk it out. Otherwise, my life is good. I know it sounds discouraging, but my struggles are just struggles. I still mostly have good weeks and I really enjoy my Celebrate Recovery groups and BSF. I have been singing at CR again and it feels really good to get back in the saddle again. Worshipping God with my voice has always been the best way for me to communicate with God. I feel like we have a direct line with Him when I am singing to Him. I have enjoyed slowly getting the kids room decorated is Dr. Suess.

I am especially in love with the red fish blue fish clock that I got on Amazon. I still have much more to get to make the room feel Suessish, including 2 quilts made by my momma for the kiddos bed. 

We also have been considering moving into a rent house when our lease is up. We are much in need of a backyard for Joslyn and the doggies. I want a safe place for her to play. 

John

John is still enjoying his night route back and forth to Dallas and I am slowly getting used to the schedule. I would be no where with out the help of Marcie and Bobby. They are my support during the long weeks. John has been excited to get a rifle and hopefully get his hunting license soon. He got us signed up for a gun safety course in the next few months and that is on the adventure list for this women. I don't think it will change my stance on guns in the house, but knowing the safety rules could never hurt. 

So that is us! What has been up with you?