Life with a toddler is about as pleasant for me as it is for most people to go to the dentist. Please don't get me wrong, I absolutely could not love my daughter any more than I do now, but this stage in life is testing my boundaries. I knew I would never be good at this stage. When I was 19 I worked at a daycare and I loved the baby room. The littlest babies would come in cooing and babbling and I would hold them and love on them. And then there was the 5 year olds. They would come in after kindergarden and we would talk about their day and help them with homework. But the 2 through 4 year old rooms, I would almost have to go in there medicated. And surely after the day was done I would definately need the pain reliever. The screaming, the yelling, the tantrums, and the excessive whining; would drive me bonkers. Needless to say I didn't keep that job long. My favorite stage was teenagers. I loved everything about them. Even the rolling of eyes and sarcastic tones. I worked with youth for over 8 years and loved almost every minute of it. I think my problem with this stage in life is the communication barrier. I want to get across to her that throwing her lunch on the floor to the dogs and then eating out of their bowl is unacceptable. But everytime we go through this, she seems to think it is a game. Just as climbing on the table to see what my response would be, is not as fun for me as it is for her. If it weren't for her sweet face and the ever diminishing sweet moments we have together, I might have thrown in the towel. Thank goodness that I have other mommy friends that seem to be having just a hard time of this as I am. Not that I am happy that they are having a tough time, it is that I don't want to be the only one. I find my patience being tested hourly.
Still, there are so many times during the day I see her sweet personality shine through that defiant no no and I thank God that I get to be a part of her life. When daddy takes her to bed and they say their prayers, I am praying too. "Thank you for this wonderful life that you have let me be apart of. Help me Lord to get it right. To see past the distractions and pain and guide her straight onto your path. Help me to be a shiny mirror reflecting your love and grace and mercy. And Lord help me to always remember that my time with her is short and everchanging. Help me to cherish every moment. Amen"
This is certainly a time where you're being tested, and from what I understand about parenthood, you'll be tested over and over again, just like your faith in your Savior. As you may be frustrated and wobble, you'll never break. You're such a strong woman, and day by day you become even stronger!
ReplyDeleteI volunteer in our church nursery on the 3rd and 5th Sundays of the month and I love it. I am always in the yellow room (they divide age groups and put them in different color themed rooms). The yellow room is my favorite with the ages 1 (or walking) until they are being potty trained (or 2 1/2-ish). I love those ages, so, if you want, just send toddling Joslyn to see her favorite aunt and uncle on the east coast. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your prayer. It's worded beautifully. If you don't mind, I'm going to store that one in my head for when I have my own little miracle.
Yes mam you can store anything from my blog. And if I could send her your way for awhile I would! But I would want her right back.
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